Your New Diner

In my estimation, you can make just about any meal better by cooking it with a little Southern flair, and putting a side of grits next to it. Judging by the accents you hear when you dine at Victoria's just outside of Andrew Square, this joint will scratch that Southern breakfast itch. Let's get this out of the way quick: They have a photo of Britney as their logo. That's crazy hilarious, and thankfully they used an old one. Bygones. The food is fantastic, with that confederate flair I mentioned and a menu the size of Britney's alimony payment. My favorite example of their varied wares, their sausage choices: Pork, Apple Maple Chicken, All Beef, Hot, Linguica, AND grilled patties. That's a wide meat variety for all you vegans to fall off the wagon for. Let me continue to court you by saying that they also stay open 24 hours on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, have a lunch and dinner menu, serve booze, and have a line out the door the second church ends on Sunday. Just picture pancakes, grits, bacon, and all the sausage you could want at 3 am on a Thursday. This is your new Diner.

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Restaurants • Newmarket / Andrew Square

Late-night Goodness, Oh Yeah

Sweet Southern Fried Jesus, Boston's got a late night wings and waffles joint! The Hen House, just past Andrew Square, is a South of the Mason-Dixon location and this place is INCREDIBLE. They've got barbeque, they've got soul food, and all the sides your confederate taste buds want. Here's what you're going to do. Step 1. Pick out your Waffle. I suggest Buttermilk. 2. Pick your butter--Cajun tastes like heaven ought to. 3. Pick some chicken 4. Pick your syrup and 5. You pick your sauce. What's that you say? They have a combo BBQ and Teriyaki sauce called Teradactal and it's flipping phenomenal? Well I'll go with that one then. I'm going to come out and say that I eat out a lot for this gig, but only rarely do I find a place that when I leave I'm already planning on when I'm coming back, who with, and how many people will need to know about this new spot on the Dorchester line. Come for lunch, come late night for that post club grease fix, but you need to come at some point, because this place just got the Patrick Hellen seal of Awesome-sauce.

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Restaurants • Newmarket / Andrew Square

Flaunt Your Flauta

As you may know, my love for Mexican food knows very little bounds, and as it forces me to move ever outward in my search for that perfect taco, that exquisite burrito, that incredible quesadilla, occasionally I miss places in my own backyard. That is the case with Real Taco, mere minutes down the road in Dorchester. Located a few blocks down from Andrew Square, Real seems to do Central American comfort food pretty well. They've got the homemade street cart favorites like fried plantains to hit your sweet-tooth, fantastic salsa and guac, (although the chips are bleh if you get them a bit late), and decent burritos. I'm going to draw your attention to the tacos, especially the Taco Flauta, which is Spanish for fucking A. We're talking chicken, potato, peppers, wrapped in tortilla, and DEEP FRIED. Toss that to me with a side of beans and I'm pretty stoked. It's cheap, it's quick, and the staff prepares everything right in front of you, so if you're driving down Dot Ave and you need a salsa fix, Taco Flauta to go. It's worth it.

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Restaurants • Newmarket / Andrew Square

Go Sit

When I was about 14, and trying to find a way to differentiate myself from my fellow high schoolers, I found myself interested in Eastern religions and ended up sitting in my room for hours at a time, eyes closed, legs crossed, trying to find enlightenment. This ended with the discovery that girls liked to chat on the phone. Lately though, I've found a new way to get my Gautama on, through the meditation classes held at South Boston Yoga. Held nightly, the class allows you to really let go of the outside distractions by putting you in a warm dark room, with an instructor whose voice is like molasses, and makes you sit still and dig into your own brain. No BlackBerrys, no televisions, just you. The teacher really helps people like me, who have a hard time just sitting, go further than I could alone. I like to take the Sunday night class, to clear out the cobwebs so I'm ready to hit the week hard. As each class is only five bucks, this might be the easiest way to reboot your software in the city. It's 15 steps from the Broadway T stop. Go sit.

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Yoga • Newmarket / Andrew Square

The Right Groceries

No, I'm not making this up; this is actually the name of the store. Located deep in the heart of NKOTB country, the New Store on the Block is not in fact, a store dedicated to the excess junk produced to satisfy the hordes of preteen girls lusting after Joey McIntyre. You will not find shelves of old lunch boxes, Donnie Wahlberg socks, and the monkey looking guy's... well whatever he had. This is in fact, just a boring old convenience store with a Dunkin Donuts embedded inside. Now, it's a fine convenience store, filled with all the things you like your convenience stores to be filled with. The Dunkin Donuts inside is a nice bonus, and the employees are actually far more friendly than the usual surly Dante and Randall lookalikes. They also do have Keno, which I believe is a law in Southie and Dorchester, so while you're waiting for your coffee you can try to hit it big. Look, it's a glorified 7-11, I know that. I just want every one of you out there that lived and breathed New Kids to get a photo in front of this sign. You owe it to Jordan.

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Shopping • Newmarket / Andrew Square

Prepare Yourself

I like Southern food. I enjoy the large portions, the grease, and the gravy. At the Hen House, you get everything but the gravy. While they have sandwiches and pizza, that's not why you're here. You're here for the waffles and chicken. However, ordering is not as simple as it sounds. When you get the chicken and waffles, you have to be ready to make a lot of decisions. What kind of waffle do you want? What type of butter do you want on your waffle? Which syrup are you going to go for? Do you want chicken wings, tenders, or a breast and a leg? And, finally, which of the many sauces do you want to go on your chicken? I'm leaving the choices up to you, but I will give you two pieces of advice. First, prepare your stomach for tons of food. Second, get the sauce on the side, not on the chicken.

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Restaurants • Newmarket / Andrew Square

Hard Bargain, Soft Sandwich

If you want to find the biggest sandwich for under $5, look no further than DJ's Market. When you walk in, it looks like little more than a small grocery store, but in the back, at the deli, is where the magic happens. The first time I went, I couldn't decide what to get so I asked the woman behind the counter. She recommended the Roast Beef and the Kielbasa. Since I was by myself, I went for the Roast Beef. All I can say is damn that sandwich was huge. Seriously, the mouth of a mere mortal is not big enough to get all the way around the sandwich when taking a bite. This sandwich is not only a bargain due to the price and size, but also because it's amazing.

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Shopping • Newmarket / Andrew Square

The Love of a Good Stimulant

Sometimes, I realize that I'm a coffee shop junkie, and my addiction to caffeine is merely the excuse I use in order to frequent these places as much as possible. It's an escape that I've been indulging in from when I originally got my license, and I've been looking for a spot that reminds me of those first days of freedom. The Sugar Bowl in the Dot gets my vote for perfect java joint. First, they have Java. This is key. Second, they have ice cream, which gets them about 40 billion bonus points. Third, they have crazy World War II posters all over the back room, and amazingly old and comfy chairs for the sitting. They wrap all this up in a Free WiFi package, and put the friendly waitstaff bow on it, and voila, you keep this guy coming back for more. I really just like the vibe of the place more than anything. It's not pretentious, and no one is coming here to gawk and be gawked at. It's a nice little family-run spot in a decent location, and this, and I'm assuming several future radars, will be written with coffee in hand.

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Coffee • Newmarket / Andrew Square

The House of Gram(my)

Alright, show of hands. How many of you recall countless Sunday dinners with Grandma, where she gave you huge portions, seconds, and a constant push to eat, eat, eat? Well, for those of you who don't have Grandma around to make you chubby, or live too far away from that calorie pusher, 224 Boston Street does a great impression, minus slipping you five bucks when you leave with a promise not to tell your mother. The restaurant is very homey, even going so far as to have some tables outfitted with an easy chair. One thing that does pull you away from the rustic feel is that the host looks suspiciously like Dennis Quaid. Hell it might be him for all I know. What have you seen him in lately? As for the food, it's not what you'd expect at a cozy little place but instead the kind of fare that Top Chef might churn out. I suggest the Artichoke Ravioli with Scallops, or perhaps the Pumpkin Tortellone, both impressive and HUGE dishes, and take a look at the refreshingly original beer list for something to wash it down. Hell, why not bring Grandma here? She deserves a night off.

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Restaurants • Newmarket / Andrew Square

Polish Plate Paradise

Of all the food that Boston has, I rarely hear about Polish. Maybe it is because getting to South Boston can be a pain. But then, the trip to Café Polonia is worth it. Everything about this place is excellent, the food, the service, the atmosphere, and the variety of Polish beers. When you go, be ready to share since you will want to do more than sample off every plate. I like sticking to the “Traditional” part of the menu. They have something for everyone. I like to make sure that someone at my table gets the Polish Plate so that I can make sure to get a few bites of my favorite dishes.

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Restaurants • Newmarket / Andrew Square