Take A Chance

For the few among you who have never previously had to identify yourself with either a red or black lightning bolt, knowing which loo to use at The Diner will be a moment fraught with foot-hopping anxiety: their baffling lightning symbols are all you have to work with. However, pass this obscure test of your toilet selection intuition--a brave move in a place where people are full of cocktails--and you can kick back to enjoy a well-delivered good time, as The Diner provides everything your cholesterol level hopes you never find: burgers, pancake stacks, pecan pie, dog. Yes, dog. Not the waggy, loyal, big-eyed kind though, promised our perky waitress, whose warm and attentive American-trained customer service will no doubt confuse many a customer into thinking she's gagging for their number. With a decor and drinks menu aimed more at adults than the pink-and-blue neon of many of the city's more family-aimed diners, it avoids the normal theme-bar cheesiness. Not that it quite hits classiness either, but it does stump up a good time in a very fun part of town.

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Restaurants • Piccadilly / Soho (West)

Beyond the East End

Reason dictates that we feature Beyond Retro East End for a multitude of reasons. It's the original, it's bigger, it's got bands on a Saturday, it's off Prick Lane blah blah blah. Put it this way: If you've just trawled around Liberty being blasted with prices so high you didn't know they existed, and you come across a wildly exotic tunnel of love adorned with dashing reds and mind-bending patterns, it amounts to an aesthetic balm to your inner shopper. Once you descend the staircase, a mini wonderland of vintage eccentricity is at your feet. The stock has been pruned, probably because the space is more industrial cellar than industrial warehouse, but the reasonable prices and spot-on selection are testament to the reason why the Beyond Retro empire is taking over the world. The staff is dressed in de riguer for vintage clothing staff: either extremely twee, extremely camp or extremely rock-dude. The difference between these people and the sort you get from Williamsburg to Shoreditch is that they're friendly, helpful, and fun in a way that doesn't make you want to puke. Go West!

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Shopping • Piccadilly / Soho (West)

Japanoodles

It's always reassuring to see lots of Japanese diners endorsing a Japanese restaurant. The Brits, of course, have such deadened and whorish taste-buds that we'll cheerfully trough down whatever muck's in front of us with no clue how to distinguish the authentic from the MSG, so it is much to Taro's credit that many of its customers are homesick Japanese looking for a little respite from our transfats. Eating here will make you feel like you're a busy business-person in Tokyo, chowing down some cheap and tasty grub before heading back to the office for the evening (unless you're like me, laboriously spearing one grain of rice at a time with that impossible utensil--the chopstick--before heading out for the evening with beansprout down your front). The food is prepared expertly in open view by cantankerous chefs whose bandanas, scowls and sinister moustaches have convinced me they're pirates on community service. Taro won't confirm this, but they do make delicious sushi and serve it efficiently (they'll want their table back sharpish though, so don't enjoy your food TOO much).

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Restaurants • Piccadilly / Soho (West)

Great Escape

Are you tired of handing over three quid for a pint of continental lager only to get that pesky not-enough look? Well, all hail to indie brewer Sam Smith's, who keeps us happy with pubs in Central London that give you the far-too-much look instead. Two pounds? Here's the change. And the beer's not bad, either. At the John Snow, autumn has forced us away from Broadwick Street's lively pavement, but it's just as much fun inside. Upstairs, meanwhile, it's all green leather benches, soft carpet and comfort food--the prefect daytime haven if you feel like escaping the Soho crowds, the weather or (dare we use the words?) Christmas shopping on Oxford Street.

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Nightlife • Piccadilly / Soho (West)

Vegetarianism Victorious

Ugh, vegetarian food. What's the point of a curry without meat? How is a burger a burger if it's made from vegetables or some other meat "substitute"? Moo-cow, baa-lamb, chickadee, piggy--they were all bred for mangetout-ing, got that potato-head? Well, I have to say, I ate my words--a little--at the opening of Tibits restaurant--I would've eaten them a whole lot more if there hadn't been such a scrum for the buffet. A successful Swiss franchise, Tibits offers up fresh, tasty vegetarian food which is sold by weight. Aside from the novelty, the courgette lasagne went down pretty well and quinoa salads, dhal (perfectly cooked lentils how they should taste--not the mushy pap that so many veggies declare highly nutritious yet, they fail to acknowledge, disgusting in texture) and crumbed falafels all filled the hole nicely. However--and this is where it becomes clear that the emphasis is on taste, not just healthy options--the desserts were sublime and I would happily spend my complimentary £10 voucher on tiramisu alone. And finally, Tibits has a very well stocked bar and menu of delectable cocktails, something surely agreeable to vegetarian and carnivore alike.

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Restaurants • Piccadilly / Soho (West)