Miami

A Ray of Health

This hidden gem on the end of Lincoln Road serves the healthiest food you can get in South Beach. Salads are the stars of their menu: you can create one by choosing from over 60 ingredients or you can get one of their featured items. Portions are generous, and the salads come beautifully arranged on the plate, a bonus for those who value good looks in their food. Even better, they make excellent homemade dressings that always come on the side (mango-ginger is my favorite). Sandwiches are also delicious--try the chicken salad. For dessert, I recommend the açaí bowl, made with 100% açaí pulp, it's the healthiest way to satisfy any sweet tooth.

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A Film Buff's Dream

If you feel like watching a movie, but you are tired of the ubiquitous and bland experience offered at standard theaters, try out the Miami Beach Cinematheque located on the quiet end of Espanola Way. The establishment is dedicated to presenting lesser seen films, and is one of the pioneers of supporting cinema as a cultural beacon in this town where it can get awfully lonely for those of us seeking characters with substance. Upon entering you will feel relieved to have discovered the place. The theater walls are lined with books on film, and among the fifty or so theater seats is a comfortable chaise lounge for one or two lucky viewers to enjoy. Most admirable about this place is the clear dedication to supporting each film presented, no matter whether it draws 50 or 4 attendees. The owner introduces each film with little known facts and background information. Sometimes directors and actors are invited to attend the screenings to comment and answer questions at the end. Often there are retrospectives of classic directors or actors presented throughout the month. Aside from all of this, most of the films screened here are not shown in any other theater in Miami. When friends from New York tell me of the new masterpiece they just saw at the IFC, we've got it too, right here in sunny Miami.

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Movie Theaters • All Neighborhoods

Reader and Dog Approved

Books & Books, located on the SoBe shopping and dining center of Lincoln Road, is not only the place to get your beach read on, but it's a really wonderful cafe. The Cafe at Books & Books serves up paninis, large salads and has one of the few extensive vegan menus in South Beach. Instead of bread, servers bring a plate of black bean hummus with bagel chips (sometimes they forget so ask for it and tell them you want the free portion because it's also on the menu). Salads are huge and the paninis come in good and unusual combinations, like the roast turkey, pear and brie or the CLT (chorizo, lettuce and tomato). Vegans can choose from many dishes, including mushroom stir fry, vegan curry chicken salad. The Cafe serves beer and wine and really good lemonades. The people watching is really good and tables are close enough so you can eavesdrop on your neighbors. Books & Books is also one of the most dog-friendly cafes on Lincoln, so don't be surprised if you're fellow diner is a pug.

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Doin' It in the Museum

Go through the unassuming doorway, sandwiched between Tattoo parlors and t-shirt shops, up the elevator and transport your self into a world of dirty little things. The WEAM is a collection of erotic art, memorabilia, and trinkets from all over the world. Serious Picassos, S&M figurines, and tribal phallic gods co-mingle with nude Art Deco ladies and tiny Japanese figurines showing couples in positions it would take years of yoga to be able to do. There's even a psychedelic drug-inspired full-frontal portrait of the Beatles (I'm sure that was John's idea). How many times can you look at dirty pictures and tell your mom with a straight face that you spent the day at the museum?

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Museums • All Neighborhoods

A Tiny Escape

Across the street from the Miami Beach Convention Center and a block from the shops and restaurants of Lincoln Road lies possibly the teeniest Botanical Garden ever. The Miami Beach Botanical Garden is probably the best five minutes you'll ever spend in South Beach--a quiet oasis from the pretentious posers and painfully hip and trendy lounges and restaurants. You won't hear any trance or techno music blaring--just the sounds of the birds and the bees. A small sculpture garden is worth checking out. With free admission, this is the perfect place to bring a book or a coffee and chill out with nature and just relax. Because sometimes you just want to get away from the wannabes and self important people and just watch things grow.

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Spicy & Spanish

If you can't afford a ticket to Barcelona, then Tapas y Tintos might be a perfectly acceptable substitite. Tapas y Tintos is located on Espanola Way, a little two block part of south Beach lined with shops and cafes, designed to make you think you're in Barcelona. To add to the authenticity, most of the waitresses can't speak English--so point at some dishes, get a pitcher of sangria and go with the flow. The potatas bravas is spicy and pairs well with a seafood dish, like the white beans and mussels. I die for the baked goat cheese, which comes with crusty bread for dipping. Come Monday for free tango lessons or Thursday for live world music.

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Sophisticated Invasion

When an event is self billed as "the most important art show in the United States, a cultural and social highlight for the Americas," I tend to throw up a little in my mouth. From December 2-6, South Beach is visited by the art crowd who ohhh and ahhh over art installations that are scattered all over the city. The mostly free events are fun to walk through and include such non-art as porcelain clowns with painted black tears, heaps of plastic bags blowing in the wind, and a collection of broken toys. The highlight of Art Basel is, of course, the parties and the people watching. Serious art is located at the Miami Beach Convention Center, but the beach and 22nd Street is a particular hot spot. Ship containers are painted bright colors and turned into art galleries and a stage produces Avant-garde (strange) entertainment and films nightly. There's a cash bar (doesn't all serious art come with a $20 mojito?) Break out the weirdest clothes you have, bring a camera, and practice lines to use, like "this is an interesting use of spacial dimension and color palate" or "obviously an intricate portrait of man's inhumanity to chickens."

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Events • All Neighborhoods

Digging for Gold

T.J. Maxx is famous for last season's wearables in the mid-price range (think calvin Klein, DKNY), but because this is SoBe, this T.J. Maxx struts the runway with steals from Prada, Dolce & Gabanna, Burberry and more. Don't expect to find Prada shoes for twenty bucks, but if you think a $500 shirt is a bargain at $125, then this place is for you. The selection is limited so if you find something, be prepared to fight the South American and Russian "ladies" (ahem....exotic dancers and escorts) who flock to this store by the dozens, thus saving their middle aged and balding boyfriends money by having them buy designer duds at discount. See? Who said golddiggers didn't have hearts?

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Animal Instincts

Elemental is the kind of place that has all the cool stuff you never thought you ever needed or wanted but one you see it you gotta have it. Consider the serving bowl made out of melted plastic toy soldiers. Or the PETA-friendly wooden moose head. The items range in price from a $15 desk mood signal (I'm cranky means not a good time to ask a favor, apparently) to a $700 ostrich table. But there's something for everyone--I wish someone had given me a gold piglet bank for my wedding instead of a ridiculous selection of traditional gifts that are more for Granny than me.

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Killer Seafood

Alta Mar, located a block west of the touristy part of Lincoln Road, is so hidden that ONLY locals know about it. It's a really small restaurant with mostly outdoor seating (if it's too hot or raining don't go), this place has only the freshest seafood locally caught and prepared with an Italian flair. I would literally kill someone for the Yellowjack with Mustard Sauce and Peppercorns. Yes, it's that good. One of the few restaurants that makes me do my Snoopy-like Happy Food Dance! There are some salads and meat dishes but why bother? A good wine selection and a full bar compliment the seafood and pad the bill. Desserts are just OK--but luckily you probably won't have room. It's not that cheap--but a great place to impress a date--two entrees and four glasses of wine will set you back about $100 before tax and tip.

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Haute Dog

"Everything you would want if you were a dog" is Dog Bar's slogan and it's true--Ed Hardy rhinestone dog shirts and collars, toys, strollers, and organic treats for the haute hound. Everything in excess for rich spoiled dogs, including raw foods, a "barkery," a beauty salon for dogs, and a large selection of outfits. Nothing says "I'm sorry I got you neutered" like a new $100 collar and some kobe beef chewies. Woof!

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Riddle Me This

Riddle: What do pantyhose stuffed with balloons, lesbian needlepoint, interactive flying carpets, and papermache body parts have in common? The answer is Art Center in Miami Beach. Art Center sectioned off an old supermarket into mini working galleries where avant garde artists can work and sell their work. Artists are required to be present and working at least 30 hours so you will find them here, working and creating art. All media is represented from traditional oil on canvas to creations out of old phone books, sewing machines and rubber gloves. Good place to ask the eternal question, "ahhhh yes...but is it art"

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$4 Global Passport

In the middle of the see and be seen capital of Lincoln Road in Miami Beach stands a dusty little storefront oasis called Zeke's Roadhouse. Here you can find over 400 different international beers for only $4 a bottle. And that's it. Only beer. But the selection is to die for--Tusker from Kenya, Imperial from Costa Rica--it's like a travelogue that gets you buzzed. Hungry? Choose from a "gourmet" selection of microwave popcorn or bags of chips. But you didn't come for food, you came for cheap beer. There's no better way to people watch (observe the European tourists only ask for Budweiser) then sipping on a four buck beer. Make sure to bring cash and ID. Trust us. It doesn't matter if you're 100 years old--if you don't have an ID, they're not serving you!

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Nightlife • All Neighborhoods

Starck & White

I've always wanted to stay at the Delano ever since seeing it for the first time back in 1996, when Philippe Starck was super-cool but I had absolutely no cash. Well, now that our credit cards were turned back on, we finally went. The interior has been redesigned a bit, but the lobby space and especially the pool are still amazing. The staff was properly obsequious (given the prices), the concierge was amazing, and the room was exactly what you need for a coke-fueled hotel party--all-white. Only the pool staff was snobby, since our alabaster white NYC bagel-rounded bodies were of no interest to them. But all in all, a great way to experience Miami Beach, in style. Once.

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Hotels • All Neighborhoods