New York

Slammin' That Story

Sometimes, even for avid readers, there's something about an experimental poetry slam that says "you're not avant-garde enough for this scene." On the other hand, there's something called a StorySLAM, which just about anyone can get into. It's not stand-up comedy, and it's not a reading; it's just real people getting up to tell entertaining five-minute stories on a given theme. The participants generally take it seriously, so they prepare a solid yarn instead of downing a few beers and rambling about nothing. Whether you go to listen, tell a story, or volunteer as a judge, there'll be a high-energy vibe and it's generally supportive, even though judges do assign scores to determine a winner. These StorySLAMs are put on by The Moth, a nonprofit that supplies a darn funny MC.

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Landmarks , Nightlife , Theaters-Performing Arts Centers • East Village

Urban Canine Living

For me, the Tompkins Square dog run stirs up mixed feelings. On the one hand, it's a giant dog run in a city where pets live in cramped apartments without backyards. It's a community where canines can mingle, exercise, breathe fresh air, and enjoy one of the city's most verdant parks. On the other hand, it's hard to believe that this sandy area is even remotely sanitary. At best, it smells vaguely of wet buffalo; at worst, the nauseating stench of animal waste permeates everything within a 500-yard radius. When it rains, gallons of vile matter overflow from the dog run into the park, and when it's windy, I've seen tornadoes of excrement-dust overtake innocent passersby. I also wonder if dogs were even meant to live in huge cities, where many have a lower quality of life, except those whose owners have backyards or gargantuan loft apartments. However, since dogs are adorable and here to stay, the Tompkins Square dog run ends up being a vital resource for the community, and a historic one, because in 1992 it became the city's very first dog run, part of Alphabet City's community renewal. Given the bleak state of many New York City neighborhoods, a dog living near beautiful Tompkins Square Park is a lucky one indeed.

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Landmarks • East Village

Twist & Shout

A pretzel that doesn't come from a Sabrett stand. Imagine that! Unlike their distant cousins of the street cart, Sigmund Pretzels are not frozen and reheated a dozen times. So be prepared, Sigmund is serving up old-world style pretzels that are baked fresh daily. Get their signature salted pretzel with a side of stone-ground mustard and wash it down with a cold Boylan's. Pretzel sandwiches, pretzel chips, coffee, and tea are also served. Did I mention that you can order by the dozen? Next time you are ballpark bound, make a pit stop at Sigmund Pretzel and eschew the cardboard-like cart pretzels.

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Restaurants • East Village

Home Alone

The Cabin Down Below is not easily found, but well worth it once there. This cool little bar with a thousand stories to tell has secured itself as one of my favorite haunts in the city. Located just off Avenue A, this place used to be accessed through the pizza shop above--hence the name Cabin Down Below. I had been brought by a friend who called it her go-to hidden gem. This low key bar springs to life well past midnight and is often packed to the rafters with an eclectic mix of people, from musicians and models to students and East Villagers to local celebrities like Macaulay Culkin. As a Londoner, spotting Mr. Culkin was very exciting. Let's recap: New York...Home Alone...Macaulay Culkin. Anyway, the drinks are cheap, the bar staff friendly, and the atmosphere relaxed. Just remember if you are planning on heading down, be sure to be ready for a late one!

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Nightlife • East Village

Late Night Chicken

To some New York dining is all about the fancified four star spots that fight for PR and a three star review from the NY Times. To others it's the hole-in-the-wall spots that garner little attention but serve their clientele exactly what they want--home cooked food for cheap. Case in point is Big Arc Chicken in the East Village. Just a few blocks away from where you can wait in line for a $17 bowl of ramen, you can chow down for $7 on a perfectly grilled half chicken and tasty sides like spinach or eggplant.  Throw in some salad, rice, homemade hot sauce, and grilled pita and you have a hearty and healthy meal. Or try a whole grilled fish with sides for ten bucks. Of course atmosphere doesn't exist, unless, like me, you enjoy old black and white Egyptian movies and English Premier Football on the telly. Usually I'm 100% against having TVs in bars or restaurants, but at Big Arc it makes a great companion to a solo 2 am feast. And with all the cabbies from the Middle East and Africa that stop here on their break, you know this is real New York dining at its finest.

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Restaurants • East Village

Jukebox (Italian) Hero

This unassuming East Village spot has some of the best thin-crust pizza and perhaps the best salads I've tasted in years. Of all the mediocre Italian joints this city has to offer, the modestly-sized Gruppo knows how to give you fresh upscale ingredients, anything from marinated tomatoes to jalapeños, caramelized onions, grilled zucchini, artichoke hearts, andouille sausage, and the list goes on. The salads are generous and the dressings are divine, the lemon and white balsamic vinaigrettes in particular, and as with the pizzas, they are mindful of overall texture (i.e. no unsightly hunks of unripe tomato or hideous blocks of cheese). With a few lovely wines by the glass, it's just the Italian place we've all been looking for: one with simple, affordable, excellent food, and a jukebox.

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Restaurants • East Village

Climb To The Top

Take a walk down Ave C and refuel at Summit, a classic cocktail lounge that takes Alphabet city to a new level. Clean classic cocktails, charcuterie and cheese indulgences are served in a romantic swanky setting with a raw industrial edge. The exposed brick walls juxtapose the shiny black granite bar top and glass shelving behind the bar. A neighbourhood hangout that I expect will build a following even in an avenue already overrun with bars. The "bar" has been raised for the future of drinking in Loisaida, NYC and I'll cheers to that!

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Nightlife • East Village

Slice of Spain

Tuesday night girl's dinner...We were promised drag queen bingo but instead we got all you can drink sangria. No complaints here! Poco is a bustling spot on the corner of Avenue B and 3rd Street that I have somehow managed to bypass until now. A vast menu of Spanish inspired tapas, carafes of sangria and high communal tables encourage you to mix and mingle. Rich, tasty morsels like lobster mac n' cheese, seafood paella, mushroom truffle croquettes, and jalapeno martini shots are worth returning for. Bring on the hot NY nights now that I've found a breezy, ambient corner in my village.

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Restaurants • East Village

Mystery Mobile

Sunday mornings. Some go to church. Some go to museums. Some go to the park. Decidedly against the first and too poor for the second, I was rockin' the third when I serendipitously happened upon all three. I've seen it before, and if you're lucky you may see it to. Covered in stickers and a little bit of rust, with evidence of at least two stops at Wall Drug, is a car, a shrine, a mobile museum of tiny plastic effigies. With a dashboard displaying superheros, kitties, and at least a dozen Virgins Mary, this transport-temple probes the universe's unanswered questions. Why? Who? How, in the bedlam of Alphabet City, does it go on, thrive, inspiring dozens of passers-by? Is it a beacon of hope? A pack-rat's outpost? A stray sequin on the grey and fraying burlap of our corporal existence? Seek it if you dare, but if you do not see it, just trust me; it's there.

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Landmarks • East Village

Espresso as Art

When you require a refined sort of fuel, the baristas at Ninth Street Espresso have you covered. A perfect cappuccino--dark, rich espresso topped with a just-right ratio of dense steamed milk and leafy foam art--will set you back $4 and put you off Starbucks forever. In fact, all the espresso drinks here are top-notch, and no wonder. Ninth Street is serious about its beans and its strictly-followed recipes. This shop definitely has a "we serve it our way and you'll like it" ambience, and even posts a warning lest you dare ask for a customized half-decaf extra-foam whatever. East Villagers don't seem to mind, since the place is regularly jammed. If you're hoping for a seat during the late-morning rush, you might have better luck grabbing a stool at their new annex on nearby 10th street.

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Coffee • East Village

Assembly Required

If you've been resisting the rest of Manhattan's addiction to fancy cupcakes, never underestimate the power of a free sample. At Butter Lane, several icings are available to taste-test, including two kinds of buttercream. Their French buttercream airier and more mousse-like then the traditional American version, and will appeal to those who usually find icing tooth-achingly sweet. Fruit-flavored icings--that actually taste like fruit--are also available, including blueberry, raspberry, and key lime. Throw in a few different cake varieties to pick from (vanilla, chocolate, and banana), and you can basically build your own custom cupcake. This little shop distinguishes itself by using high-quality ingredients, and does a brisk takeout business. For anyone who's been looking for a cupcake that's a little more refined than the usual, start here.

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Shopping • East Village

Better With Bacon

Every now and then there comes a boozy late-night hour when a smoked, deep-fried hotdog spiraled in bacon sounds like your ticket to heaven. And this St. Mark's Place dugout will probably be aglow and waiting for you and everyone else with gluttony on the brain. Fans of Gray's Papaya recession special may grumble about the $2.75-$5 per dog prices, but the bacon wrapping alone adds a salty kick that's worth lightening your wallet a little. Then there are the toppings--avocado and sour cream, fried egg and cheese, chili and jalapenos, and virtually any other combination you can dream up. Note the secret door through the telephone booth against the wall. This is the entrance to PDT, a swanky lounge that serves up serious cocktails, where you can order in hot dogs and tater tots from next door.

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Restaurants • East Village

Lets No One Down!

As I trudged down Ave A, Cafe Pick Me Up lured me in with its name. I could use some picking up, I thought. Naive, I know. Anyways, this place would probably be better named Cafe Settled Down since it is cozy and poorly lit, which, as an environment, is less of a pick-me-up than a can-I-take-a-catnap-back-here-without-being-judged-by-that-person-reading-the-New-York-Times? The cafe is laid back, always populated, and has that random amalgam of furniture that looks like all the indiscriminate worn shit you stored in your parents' basement after college, if those items were exclusively tables and chairs. Twinkle lights and random art contribute to that college-y feel. The cafe's best asset is its view on Tompkins Square Park, which you can observe unimpeded if you sit by window.

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Coffee • East Village

Welcome to the Neighborhood

If Starbucks is a Grande Frappuccino with whip then Abraco is a single espresso. Low on space, but high on substance with no Wi-Fi, free biscotti, or iced coffee milk blends used to attract those who don't really like coffee anyway. A coffee bar per-se with just enough room to hover around the barista, worship the coffee guru, and have a chat. As a soy drinker I was a little sad with the choice of full cream or almond milk. But without much convincing, I was quickly converted. Perhaps the friendly vibe the regulars bring to what is a hub of neighbourhood conversation sets Abraco apart from the counterparts. Or maybe it's the tasty morsels freshly baked each morning--olive oil cake, French toast with lemon ricotta, and Spanish style frittata.

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Coffee • East Village

Do-It-Yourself Falafel

Crammed in the middle of a block of mediocre cheap eats (not including, of course, transcendent Katz’s Deli), this unassuming little falafel joint is consistently delicious. The falafel may very well be the best in the city, and the warm, fresh-from-the-oven pita bread is the perfect holder for those crispy little spheres of perfection. But the best part is the unlimited toppings bar, where you can jam your pita with all the fixins you could possibly want (especially the crunchy pickles--those guys make the sandwich) and top it all off with some tahini and hot sauce. Chances are you’ll overestimate just how much deliciousness can be packed into one pita pocket, and will end up leaking some hummus out the side, but you can always patch up the hole by wedging some more fresh veggies into the bottom to make sure you get the most out of your sandwich. And at around $5 for an overstuffed pita with hummus, falafel, and all the fixins, you’ll have some cash left over for some homemade lemonade and Belgian fries.

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Restaurants • East Village

The Sounds of the Solar System

Shows here are had. Bands here are played. People, outside they linger. Inside, I lift no fingers for I... am content? AM I content? Am I content when I go here? What makes for an amorous concert-going experience? Is it a $10 cover charge? A cool stage? What makes for a cool stage? This one was wide, wooden and conveniently fit the totality of band members and instruments. It is true that the Mercury Lounge has an admirably expansive selection of bands of various genres in various contortions. It is also true that the last time I partook of its stage, bands and cover charge, I stood at an intimate arm's length from the players on stage and was thusly privileged to enjoy the lilting sounds and up-tempo beats of Stumblebum Brass Band. Sigh. As says Stumblebum drummer Jonathan Levy, Mercury Lounge is A-OK with him because there are "not a lot of places left that are exclusively music venues." And thus, in view of my ambivalence, I defer to the musicmakers. Five stars for Mercury Lounge and 72 virgins in heaven!

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Nightlife • East Village

Curios That Time Forgot

If there's a Museum of Kitschy & Arbitrary Americana (which there must be), Obscura Antiques & Oddities is its un-archived storeroom. Most people in the store were clearly there to observe rather than buy, because there is absolutely no way to rationalize 'needing' anything from Obscura. Do you NEED a set of skeletal raccoon feet wall sconces? How about an ancient oversized plastic mask of a geisha or a mariachi-man? A Lion's Club ceramic figurine? Maybe YOU do, I don't know what you do in your spare time--but squeezed in with four other equally confounded passers-by in the crammed shop, I had my doubts that any of these objects would improve my quality of life significantly. The intricately-curated hodgepodge is indeed visually stimulating. Go hungry and prepare to dig, or stop by for a quick snack. Even if you don't buy a broken clock or mannequin head, you'll be happy with the knowledge that you could.

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Shopping • East Village

Hope... or Hades

If by the time you read this Radar, Obama has won, take with you this buoyant scene: Polychromic confetti bursts forth from the heavens and spontaneous harpists perform on dust-smothered street corners in diaphanous white dresses with fresh wreaths and golden instruments. A life worth living! the NFT office declares, as they exchange floaty facial expressions and run down the stairs in blissful bounds. Meanwhile, scores of Chinese businesspeople tumble out of their offices, beaming psychotically, intermingling with the likes of the NFT officepeople who clamor to the over-enthused Obama mural on Ave C and 6th Street to genuflect, slap their thighs and galumph back to Chinatown; their arms intertwined, their hands clutching overflowing beer steins and grinning babies, enveloped in American flags. They cry: The power and the glory of a nation restored; heads that don't bobble in dejection no more!---------> But if he doesn't win, prepare for this: Everyone at NFT is dead. Shameful, overpowered heads bobble forever in dejection underground, within their graves. The sound and the fury of futurity begrime us. The mural-laden strip of Avenue C may have acquired a new, less noxious community-centric art piece, but it is for naught. For we are all dead.

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Landmarks • East Village

Dancing Fools

When I'm forced to hang loose in the EV, the only place I can call my own is that far-famed nightspot Pyramid Club where synthesized beats and reverberating New Wave stir up the fire in my icy veins. Ostensibly named after the pyramid design in the building's tiling (and not Madonna's jacket in Desperately Seeking Susan?!), its patrons are multiple... but never milquetoast. A former German social banquet hall, sometime Off-Broadway venue and punk, queer and "polysexual" haunt, the club now features dancing fools of the mostly NYU, 80s-hounding and dance-crazed stripes. Only drawback: Canoodling with the lower classes. Thrashing trance music and platformed Goth Lolitas romp in the basement, and after 3 am, the basement dancers take the main floor along with their degenerate, droning crap. I don't know about you, but I didn't pay good money to watch teenage, EV Goths sleep-stomp over terrible stuff that's not music; I came to party.

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Landmarks , Nightlife • East Village

No Phone

Ah, the classic dive bar. The smell. The sticky floor. The gritty patrons. The disgusting bathroom. It all adds up to one of the most incredible experiences on the face of the planet. At least in my frugal-living book of life. But now we must head for the outer reaches of the city to find such gems. Luckily, there are still a few crusty old bars in the East Village keeping it real. Like Lucy's for example. It has the trifecta that every good dive needs: pinball, pool, and a jukebox. Even if you're not a fan of the dive bar (shame on you!), this place is worth checking out just to catch of a glimpse of the friendly proprietor. So when you get depressed because another fro-yo chain is moving in to your 'hood, cry your tears over an ice cold brew at Lucy's. She'll never let you down.

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Nightlife • East Village