Even Cars Like Elevators

Yes, cars are evil. And therefore the space in NYC that is dedicated to the parking of said evil objects should be used instead for low-income housing, parks, farmers markets, CSAs, magnet schools, free health-care clinics, publicly-funded art galleries and performance spaces, community gardens, playgrounds, antique markets, water fountains, miniature forests, wind turbines, solar panels, needle exchanges, spontaneous Happenings, band practice spaces, public toilets, independent presses, secret meeting places, anarchist infoshops, Quaker Friend Houses, Rosicrucian temples, pet shelters, and, of course, even more fucking Starbucks. Nonetheless, the open-elevator parking garage at 56 Fulton in downtown Manhattan looks cool. It's the Pompidou of Parking Garages, the Bilbao of Car Parks, the…okay, I guess that's enough.

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Parking • Financial District

Happy Tax Day! Ride a Ferry

I'm sure there are at least five reasons to disembark the Staten Island Ferry and venture into that mysterious suburban borough, but I only know one: because they make you if you want to get back to Manhattan. The best free activity for entertaining visiting relatives, the Ferry allows you, savvy New Yorker, to be the tour guide. With great views of lower Manhattan, Lady Liberty, Ellis Island, and the Jersey shipyards, you can point out all the watery landmarks without having to pay for any of them, and no one will be the wiser when you start making up New York factoids! Just don't bash the destination borough too loudly as there are people in this city who actually commute (and I think in some cases, live) on the hulking orange vessels. Everyone gets off at Staten Island, and a surprising number circle the concourse to get right back on. There are secrets of Staten we've yet to uncover, but that of the Ferry is enough for now.

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Landmarks • Financial District

Red and Orange Delights

Yeah, it's a little pricey. And yeah, they don't know how to make a crab cake for fuck-all (I'd never thought I'd say this, but just because something is panko-crusted and deep-fried, doesn't mean it's good), but the orange and red dragon rolls (pictured) are good. Damned good. And, like many other NYC restaurants that are desperate for customers, they kissed our NFT ass pretty damned well. As for the crab cakes? Simple solution: go across the street to Nelson Blue.

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Restaurants • Financial District

The Six Dollar Coffee Break

Ah, to be Italian--amazing cuisine, historic cities, unlimited wine, weeks of vacation--"la dolce vita" indeed. Since an EU passport isn't falling into my lap anytime soon, I must get creative to satisfy my inner Europhile. With the recent opening of Zibetto in the Financial District, my mission just got a whole lot easier. Zibetto is a handsome coffee bar with expertly pulled espresso. The first cue that this place is 100% Italian is that there are no seats. Order a couple of caffe ("Signore, due caffe per favore!') and a bottle of sparkling water. (The Italians always take a small glass of water with their coffee.) It will set you back 6 bucks, but I like to think of it as 3 EUR with a 2 buck surcharge to help those Europeans pay for their free health care. Not bad for the real deal. You just stand and sip just like they do in Italy. The whole ritual takes a couple of minutes if you do it right. Within walking distance of my wife's office, it's a perfect place to meet up for an afternoon coffee quickie. Until NFT opens up its European headquarters, Zibetto will have to do.

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Coffee • Financial District

Tanks for the Memories

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, as Martha lies unconscious in a ditch while hordes of locusts descend upon unprotected livestock and we spend more and more billions of dollars to send Young Americans overseas to fight oil wars, there are, right in the heart of Manhattan, near the epicenter of past terrorist attacks, random tanks filled with who-knows-what-gas ready to be exploded, abducted, or otherwise messed with by the many, many terrorists on those famous "watch lists" that everyone and their mother is publishing, and yes, those tanks are just sitting in the open with no one guarding them. Don't we all feel so safe now as we pay taxes to fund the alphabet soup of CIA, FBI, ATF, NSA, DHS, DEA, NYPD, (ETA, IRA, J/K) Border Patrol, Customs Service, Postal Inspectors, Army-Navy-Air Force-Marines that are everywhere else except where they are supposed to be, actually DEFENDING our nation, and what better place to start than John Street in Lower Manhattan, outside 24-hour Jubilee Marketplace, where my wife shops for groceries a few afternoons each week. Your tax dollars at work, my friends.

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Landmarks • Financial District

No, Not That Nelson from NFT

Any time I start going to the same restaurant more than once every month, I know that it's been put in my personal pantheon of New York restaurants that don't suck. Such is the case with Nelson Blue on Peck Slip. Even though it's a block away from the teeming crowds of South Street Seaport, and is filled with Wall Street douchebags many early weekday evenings, Nelson Blue's excellent New Zealand cuisine (yes! There is one!) transcends all of that--not an easy task. Their lamb "lollipop chops" are brilliant; they serve one of the best crab cakes in NYC; the curry mussels are perfect. Added bonuses: outside seating, communal tables inside, good beer selection, close to NFT headquarters. Anyone want to meet me there for a lunch meeting? Perfect.

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Restaurants • Financial District

Adrienne's

Pizza. It’s my favorite word with two “z’s” in it, although “mezzanine” is a close second. I’m sure you already know that, as with everything else in this world, all pizza places are not created equal. Of the thousand or more in NYC, there’s probably only 100 or so that serve decent pizza, and only about 15-20 that make a perfect pie. And Adrienne’s, with its rectangular-shaped, pan-cooked, medium-thickness-crust pizza, is fortunately in that last category. Outdoor seating and a great location on crowded Stone Street should ensure its success for many years to come, and thank god, because getting decent grub in the Financial District, while not as hard as it used to be, can still be a challenge (and yes, you can thank the no-taste B & T crowd for that).

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Restaurants • Financial District

Tonight! Party Like It's 2008

The brand new 2008 NFTs have arrived. And on Friday September 28 we’re throwing a gigantic party at the fabulous Spiegelworld to celebrate. This will be NFT’s biggest bash ever, so you don’t want to miss it. We have cases of New York books to give away and gallons of free beer from Heartland Brewery for you to drink (while supplies last). We’ll also have a DJ spinning cool tunes under the stars to start your weekend off right. Email all your friends, because this amazing event is open to anyone and everyone. Grab a book, drink a beer, and enjoy an amazing view of the city we love. It all goes down from 6 to 9 pm on Friday September 28 at Spiegelworld (Pier 17, South Street Seaport).

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Farmers Markets , Landmarks , Museums , Shopping • Financial District

Governor’s Island Folk Music

Governor’s Island and folk music are both somewhat alien to the New York psyche, so it’s fitting to pair them. A quiet grassy knoll with a sea breeze? A banjo strumming about Appalachian sunsets? Light years from Bowery. But Folks on the Island, a free concert series that concludes this Saturday, is just a short boat ride away. This week is a tribute to Woody Guthrie, but come even if you’re not a fan of the music. With concerts under a leafy canopy on a college-like green, there’s no more quick and relaxing escape from the city. Be warned, however: with the island’s military history, there’s a surprising lack of order to the ferry service. Wise to queue early to ensure your place, since they leave only once an hour.

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Landmarks • Financial District

In Liberty We Trust

Looking for a decidedly unofficial center of downtown? You could do worse than the small square called Liberty Plaza—one block from the WTC site, a few blocks north of the still-wonderfully-seedy Lower Greenwich Street (go and you’ll see what we mean), right on Broadway, just south of City Hall and (more usefully, since you can’t fight the former) J & R Music World, and just west of the mucho-crapitudinous Nassau Street Shopping District. Cool lighting, actual benches (!), and a killer Mark di Suvero sculpture help the plaza in its quest to become something other in the midst of the madness. Now if the bastards hadn’t ruined the view…

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Landmarks • Financial District

Spa 88

Close to the Seaport and just blocks from the A line, Spa 88 is something every New Yorker should treat themselves to, if just once. A good sweat is like nothing else in the world—it gets out all the toxins we take in from auto exhaust, nut-sellers, and expelled tourist breath. I used to go to a different spa, which shall remain unnamed, down in the village. Until I got ringworm. So that's why I can confidently recommend Spa 88 to my close friends and yes, even you. It is very, very clean. For admission to the spa, standard price runs $32, and includes access to a Turkish steam room, a dry sauna, a Russian dry room (so hot!), a cold plunge pool, a jacuzzi, standard swimming pool, and multiple lounge areas. Additional services include a full restaurant, a juice bar, and excellent massage, facial, and body treatments—all at decent prices. When you go to Spa 88, try to make an adventure out of it. Stay a while and treat yourself right. I'd suggest taking a bathing suit with you; they have clean loaners but, well, you know… You are provided with a robe, slippers, and all the fresh towels you can use to sop up all those toxins. Come on, you deserve the minor extravagance.

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Restaurants • Financial District

Pier 17

Pier 17 is a tourist's haven; a gaggle of shops and gawking sights to be had in a tight location, with lots of seating and very little walking involved. However, Pier 17 can be an excellent destination for even the grumpiest and most crowd-hating local. Why? The same reasons that the tourists go. In addition to the shops and stuff, the sunset views are some of the best in the city. There is also free WiFi that provides a decent signal throughout the lounge area and even out on the upper decks. The large windows provide awesome views of Brooklyn, the financial district, the Brooklyn Bridge, and even a large part of Manhattan proper northward past Chinatown. But while the shops are plentiful, they're pretty standard. Likewise in the food court. But you can get cheap beer in a plastic cup, free WiFi, and a spectacular view. Pier 17 is definitely a place to check out on a day when you want to blend in and be anonymous.

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Farmers Markets , Landmarks , Museums , Shopping • Financial District

Klatch

One of Manhattan’s quaintest coffee houses is nestled in the unlikeliest of places, on Maiden Lane, in the heart of the Financial District. Century 21 and Ground Zero are two blocks to the west; the New York Stock Exchange is three blocks south. Once you’re inside Klatch, though, it’s difficult to remember you’re in the city at all. The café’s décor and chic, home-spun feel is more reminiscent of a Berkshire mountain café than a hub in the Wall Street wheel. Along with traditional espresso and beverages, Klatch features decadent homemade pastries along with tea, wine, and beer. It also doubles as an art gallery, featuring a rotating array of mixed-media and visual art. Owner Pam Chmiel (who opened Klatch in 2003, and lives nearby) has certainly created a bohemian oasis in the downtown corporate sea.

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Coffee • Financial District

National Museum of the American Indian

It is often said that the Native Americans were the first victims of one of New YorkÕs legendary real estate deals. It is then per-haps a bit ironic that a museum dedicated to their legacy now occupies such prime real estate. Right next to Battery Park, in one of New YorkÕs most mag-nificent Beaux Art buildings, the Alexander Hamilton U.S. Cus-tom House houses the National Museum of the American Indian. The museum is currently offer-ing three extraordinary exhibits. George Gatlin and His Indian Gallery showcases the work of Mr. Gatlin, who spent decades painting portraits of Native Americans, as well as arguing their cause, in the mid-1800s. New York-based Native artists who often blend their cultural heritage with contemporary forms of ex-pression are on display in New Tribe: New York. But perhaps the most impressive is First American Art, a collection of artifacts ar-ranged according to an interpretive analysis of aesthetic styles. In eschewing the traditional arrangement, wherein artifacts are displayed next to others from the same time and culture, the curators have offered us a window to a deeper understanding of this rich culture as well as art in general. The museum also holds workshops on traditional arts and storytelling as well as their Native Sounds Downtown series that presents an occasional concert on the museum esplanade. For a schedule of events, visit the museumÕs website.

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Museums • Financial District