Bialyville

If you fall into the "what the heck is a bialy?" camp, you owe yourself a trip to Kossar's. Bialys are puffier, airier cousins of bagels but they are baked instead of boiled, and have a center dimple filled with chopped onion. Polish-Jewish bialy bakers once had their own union in the city, but their ranks have been reduced to this Lower East Side mainstay. Kossar's is as simple as simple gets--ovens in plain view, no seating except for a sidewalk bench, and a few wire racks filled with fresh bagels, bulkas and bialys. They don't toast, and toppings are your problem. But, even though the price of their bialys has inched up to ninety cents apiece, they're a delicious departure from bagels when toasted at home and eaten with just a schmeer of cream cheese.

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Bagels , Restaurants , Shopping • Lower East Side

Mush You Can Believe In

I never really knew what the hell the 'porridge' was that Goldilocks swiped from the bears, but I have a feeling it was nothing like the congee (English translation=porridge) you'll find at this fantastic LES mega-eatery. The porridge here comes in 30 varieties, from sliced pork and preserved egg (egg soaked in tea) to pork, chicken and duck; to more adventurous options such as abalone and frog or pig's blood. For an average price of $3-$4, you receive a bubbling congee cauldron that could easily be a meal unto itself, if only the dim sum menu and encyclopedia of entrees weren't too tempting to pass up. The downside to this prime joint is the crowds. The entry room feels like a Shanghai subway station at rush hour, and, unless you go alone at an odd hour on a Monday night, you'll have to wait. And chances are you'll have to wait longer than they tell you upfront. But if you've never been, it's certainly worth dealing with the line; it's all part of the Congee Village experience. Go with a large group, and try to score a lazy Susan banquet table so you can sufficiently sample the extensive menu.

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Restaurants • Lower East Side

Theatrics, Then Coffee

Starbucks-weary coffee lovers, rejoice! The solution to your dull, order-and-receive chain-store woes lies in the Roasting Plant, a tiny, eccentric LES coffee shop. While it may well be the best coffee in the city (a qualified compliment), it's been bringing caffeine addicts below Delancey since last spring, and its diverse, never-bitter selection of fresh-roasted beans is only part of the draw. Whole, raw beans are roasted right in front of your eyes in eight distinct flavors, ranging from nutty, earthy undertones to sweeter, fruitier essences. The friendly staff takes your order and taps away at a touch-screen monitor. Suddenly, the perfect amount of whole beans is suctioned from the container holding the roast of your choice. The beans fly through a series of tubes across the ceiling into the coffeemaker, where they are simultaneously ground and brewed. The result is the perfect cup of fresh-brewed coffee, with flavors so bold the caffeine is hardly necessary for your morning jolt.

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Coffee • Lower East Side

Prime Pickle-Watching

This Lower East Side cafe provides a calm, unpretentious respite from the trendytown around. Seating options abound: if you want to make pedestrians jealous, there are a handful of tables along a slight strip of outdoor sidewalk; if you want to watch them quietly from indoors, there is a wide windowed view to check out well-heeled passers-by; or, if you want to get away from it all, there is quieter dimmer seating downstairs, an array of board games within reach. Against the exposed brick backdrop, the clientele are a chill bunch, mostly readers and laptop users. The cafe's music selection is just what you wanted to hear (Kings of Leon! Bowie!). Did I mention the cafe's immediate access to pickles? There is a dead-on view of Guss's, which sometimes (always) makes me want to abandon my reading mid-page (and chai latte mid-sip) in favor of chomping a jar of three-quarter sours.

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Coffee , Restaurants • Lower East Side

Shit on a Stick

Yes, folks, gaze and wonder at the unrivalled beauty of the East Broadway F train stop, which doubles as the main subway stop for NFT staffers. Eagerly I await every year's awards for the "worst ten subway stations" and never do I see the East Broadway F stop on it (the Smith & 9th F/G stop? C'mon! At least there's fresh air on the platform!). We pay high rents, have scuzzy landlords, still get mugged, have overcrowded schools and overanxious police, and, of course, have to deal with horrific terrorist attacks. And then we have to wait for a train in a station that looks like Satan took a crap all over the place. Well, at least you can console yourself that the Straphangers Campaign gives a shit, as you can see by its yearly line-by-line ratings, and the helpful "how to complain" section of its website. Be a New Yorker: kvetch, already (unless you want to risk piquing the interest of over-attentive city beautifiers who will cleanse the stop of its character, rid the Chinatown of its Chinamen, heighten the rent on our office and subdue NFT to its expiry. Your decision)!

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Landmarks • Lower East Side

Socialists and Their Herring

Under the Shadow of the Manhattan Bridge, at the ass end of Orchard Street, tucked away behind a nondescript glass front, lies shabby-chic Good World Bar & Grill. Run by a Brit and a Swede, this local haunt for the LES peeps looking to get away from the new condo class invading their nabe has the only herring I have ever enjoyed and a decent selection of beer on tap. If you really want to feel at home here, buy the bartender a shot of tequila and join him or her for a smoke in the back garden (formerly a shoot-up haven for junkies) and you'll end up in a fascinating conversation about socialism (or whatever) with one of the owners, late into the night, warming yourself by the outdoor fireplace and forgetting that you have no idea how to get home.

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Nightlife , Restaurants • Lower East Side

Chop N' Shop

Frank's Chop Shop looks a bit odd: adjacent to Chinatown and the Lower East Side, yet not a Chinese barber in sight; old school stools and razors sharing space with new school fashion and photography; music jumping from Indie to Country to Hip Hop; and a clientele that reaches from Wall Street workers to LES loiterers to Japanese tourists. So if Frank's seems hard to peg, let me clear the air: it's an unpretentious throwback with flavor to spare, offering a range of honest cuts from standard pro(fessional) to fresh fades and letters. Leave your style worries at the door and let head barber Mr. B or Fritz fix you up; with almost three decades of experience between them, they know their way around a head. Exclusive New Era fitteds too, if that's your thing. Chop n' shop, baby!

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Services • Lower East Side

Psychic Vacuum Exhibit

Ever had to sign a waiver to attend an art show? If you answered no, then you’ve never been to an exhibit by renowned British artist Mike Nelson. He specializes in creating crazy architectural environments, and he has temporarily transformed an abandoned building of the old Essex Street Market into an interactive maze full of Americana and found art. His first large scale exhibit in New York, Psychic Vacuum, is perfect for anyone who loves to explore decaying urban landmarks. This former bustling market place is now a ghost of its former self and Nelson captures its haunting spirit perfectly. You can linger for hours in each room and attempt to interpret the imagery, or just wander like a little kid excited to see what lies behind the next door. With limited viewing times of 12-6 pm Fridays through Sundays until October 28, you better make plans to check it out soon before the building returns to obscurity. Or becomes another fancy condo.

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Landmarks • Lower East Side

7th International Pickle Day

If the 7th Annual International Pickle Day is anything like the 6th International Pickle Day, expect an abundance of pickle sampling, education, and festivities to take place on this stretch of Orchard Street. This is the place to come to relish free tastes of all kinds of pickles from all kinds of cultures, everything from spicy-hot Korean kimchee to extra sours from Guss’, the Lower East Side institution of pickling. Anything that can be pickled will be pickled for the occasion—I’ll be there hunting down some pickled tomatoes and peaches first, trying to preserve my manners and not eat them by the handful. There will be music and recipes and canning demonstrations and all kinds of pickle revelry going on. A good brine is sure to be had by all!

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Events • Lower East Side

Straight to the Top

So it’s only been there for seven weeks or so and I’ve only been there twice, but let’s just say that the pizza at Isabella’s will at least win Rookie of the Year award, at least in my pizza book. Is it right up there with Luzzo’s, Una Pizzeria Napoletana, Denino’s, Joe & Pat’s, Lou & Ernie’s, L & B, Arturo’s, DeMarco’s, DiFara’s, Totonno’s, Franny’s, Nick’s, and Adrienne’s? Answer: yes. Like almost all other pizza places, they serve some pastas and other crap that I will never order, but when the brick oven takes up 55% of the available floor space in the restaurant and the guy that operates it is from Naples, I’m really not interested in penne alla vodka or chicken marsala. They have a great backyard which I’m told will be enclosed for the winter (I’m hope it’s true, because the building itself has three tables), no liquor license, cash only, blah blah blah—just go eat, and dare to disagree, as usual.

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Restaurants • Lower East Side

The Doughnut Plant

Way east on the Lower East Side is Doughnut Plant, specializing in uniquely flavored doughnuts made from all-natural ingredients. Owner Mark Isreal uses a recipe passed down from his grandfather, the late Herman Isreal, who owned and operated a bakery in North Carolina for over 35 years. The doughnut flavors—there are currently 50 of them—rotate according to what is in season. Flavors recently available included white peach, lavender, vanilla bean glaze filled with organic black cherry jelly, Valrhona chocolate, coconut crème-filled with coconut glaze, and banana pecan. Yum!

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Shopping • Lower East Side

Miss Manners?

The past few New York City Mayors have championed “quality of life” issues ad nauseum, but here’s one they missed: eating on the subway. Color me fussy, but nothing makes me puke in my mouth quite like being stuck on an F-Train circa 11 am, with multiple riders hunched over greasy brunches. Like the other day, when the air was simultaneously alive with deep-fried fish and ketchup, slimy sausage sandwich, and a giant Chinese steamed bun. At first I found myself wishing for the good old pre-MetroCard days, when a token bought a ride and a whiff of good old-fashioned bodily fluid. But really, a simple reminder should do: some things are best not eaten in cramped, non-ventilated train cars… if you don’t have the manners to share!

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Landmarks • Lower East Side

Good World Bar & Grill

A perennial favorite for birthday party get-togethers, this Swedish bar and restaurant has many original sandwich options like skagen (shrimp roe, fish eggs, and buttered bread) and the cheesy vasterbrotten (lots of cheese). Famous for its meatballs, beer selection, and dark wood dance floor, Good World is a great choice for groups looking to dine together and stay for the long haul, for drinking and dancing. (Bonus: keep an eye out for some of your favorite NFTers, who work just a couple of blocks away!)

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Nightlife , Restaurants • Lower East Side

Babycakes

Opened in August of 2005, Babycakes is out to prove that not all sweet things need processed sugar, or nuts, eggs, wheat, gluten, or just about anything that is bad for you. Not being a vegan I am dumbfounded to guess what is actually in their “special” baked items (you can find out on the website) but the fresh banana muffin I had is certainly the best I’ve had in New York. This fact proves that baked goods that are safe for those with dangerous allergies or acceptable to people who refuse to eat anything but grass and dirt are not necessarily something the rest of us need avoid. Babycakes makes a variety of muffins, biscuits, bread, cookie, and cupcakes along with gingerbread, apple pie, and brownies. Moreover, the friendly candy-striper-dressed staff and gleeful décor, which blends the joy of the 50s, the pleasure, or even fetish, of baking in general, elementary school crafts, and Lower East Side hipness, make it the perfect place to enjoy the illusive muffin or cupcake that is actually good enough to merit sitting down with an accompanying cup of coffee. Babycakes also delivers.

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Shopping • Lower East Side

il laboratorio del gelato

The brutal summer weather has finally hit us, and thus officially begins prime ice cream season. Although it seems as if Tasti D•Lite has become the only frozen dessert vendor around these days, try taking a stroll down Orchard Street below Delancey to il laboratorio del gelato. Their chocolate is superb, but their vanilla is excellent—reminding you that vanilla doesn’t have to be bland. They have an assortment of other flavors as well, including red bean, black sesame, toasted almond, and about 70 more, plus just about every fruit flavor imaginable. The only part that’s not so sweet: you might have to wait outside on a hot day, as their space is big, but most of it is taken up by the large equipment used to make the frozen treats. We’re betting you’ll find the wait worth it, though.

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Restaurants , Shopping • Lower East Side

Lower East Side Tenement Museum

If you grew up in New York, you probably didn’t make it through grade school without being dragged to this Lower East Side museum a couple of times. But the museum often slips off the radar of those of us who live here but weren’t born here, as we think the tenement that stands on Orchard Street in all of its depression-era squalor is just for bored school-children or hokey tourists. But we are wrong! Using the histories of real immigrant families who inhabited the Orchard Street tenement during the 19th and early 20th centuries, the intimate guided tours of the residence offer a fun way to learn about the history of New York City and, specifically, the now-trendy Lower East Side.

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Landmarks • Lower East Side