New York

Showcase of Skin

At this small space on an unassuming corner of the Lower East Side, you can see burlesque performances that vary from risque to classical several nights a week. The performers are both legends of the burlesque scene and amateurs--the New York School of Burlesque, run by the infamous Jo "Boobs" Weldon, holds its "Student Showcase" here. It is a tiny venue where the audience sits just a few feet away from the stage; participation is encouraged and it's not for the faint of heart. The feeling of intimacy continues even after the show has ended, as the performers usually stay to drink with the crowd afterward while the DJ spins retro classics.

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Nightlife • Lower East Side

2 am Sugar Rush

You've finished off a plate of perogies at Veselka and now you need dessert. It's raining but you just feel like walking so you head toward East Houston Street and after a few left turns you see Sugar Cafe. It's 2 am and you are skeptical about indulging at a 24-hour joint. However, you and some friends decide to be brave and go in. Three slices of cake: red velvet, strawberry cheesecake, and red velvet cheesecake are ordered. Now you stumble around to find a table to sit at, choosing one tucked in the corner. You haven't even situated yourself on the seemingly comfy bench yet and your slices of cake have arrived, delivered with sincere "enjoy" and smile. If you are anything like me, you immediately pick up your fork and cautiously stab the cheesecake. Maybe it's late and you're in a daze but it's like eating a sugary cloud, or what I'd imagine clouds to feel like if they had any texture. You let out a heartfelt "yum" and look to your friends; they have the same reaction. Plates and stories are exchanged and soon the cake is gone. It's 4 am, the perfect way to start/end the day.

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Restaurants • Lower East Side

Bialyville

If you fall into the "what the heck is a bialy?" camp, you owe yourself a trip to Kossar's. Bialys are puffier, airier cousins of bagels but they are baked instead of boiled, and have a center dimple filled with chopped onion. Polish-Jewish bialy bakers once had their own union in the city, but their ranks have been reduced to this Lower East Side mainstay. Kossar's is as simple as simple gets--ovens in plain view, no seating except for a sidewalk bench, and a few wire racks filled with fresh bagels, bulkas and bialys. They don't toast, and toppings are your problem. But, even though the price of their bialys has inched up to ninety cents apiece, they're a delicious departure from bagels when toasted at home and eaten with just a schmeer of cream cheese.

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Bagels , Restaurants , Shopping • Lower East Side

Masters of Matzo

This old world family run production company has caught my eye for months found in an area of NY which is as diverse as the next, with fashionista lemmings and deep rooted cultural families inhabiting side-by-side. Striets Matzo occupies a 48,000 square foot block on the corner of Rivington and Suffolk Streets on the LES in a Tenement building dating back to 1925. An artisan establishment with a production line curbside where you can follow the waft of matzo through the barred windows on the north side of Rivington and watch the process take place. If you're lucky, they'll sneak you a sample, and after that you will be asking yourself; where do I convert? The historic headquarters takes you back to a time where the smell of matzo heralded the coming of Passover, now its an around the clock thriving business keeping the name of tradition for future generations.

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Shopping • Lower East Side

Down Under on the Lower East

Sun, sand, and surf isn't something that you would normally find between Suffolk and Clinton Streets on the Lower East Side. Perhaps that is it what makes it more inviting and even harder to leave after a few Aussie stubbies, as they say Down Under. Oversized, glossy photographic images line the walls to help transport you to the iconic Sydney beachside suburb that is Bondi. As to avoid being corrected its pronounced Bond-eye and of course fish and chips are the drawcard on the menu; beer battered and fried barramundi and chips (thick cut fries not crisps) for those not up with the Aussie slang. The young team of staff are Australian in NY for different reasons but essentially all because they have gone 'walkabout' and found refuge in a laid back, quality beach bar miles from any sand dune or seagull.

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Restaurants • Lower East Side

Cheap and Easy

Yes, the place smells worse than the East Broadway subway station. And yes, the drinks are so lousy that even the bottled beer tastes watered down. And you can't help but wonder how many types of mold might live inside the plastic-wrapped couches that not even your grandmother would have in her basement. However, all that aside, I have never not had a blast at Welcome to the Johnsons. With $2 cans of PBR ($1.50 before 9 pm!) and $4 well drinks (just $2 before 9!), it's easy to get comfortable on a piece of furniture that looks like it was just picked up off the street and get sloppy with nothing more than a 10 dollar bill in hand. The dilapidated pool table, Space Invaders console, and static-y television playing Molly Ringwald movies certainly add to the ambience, and $1 buys you three jams on the eclectically stocked jukebox. So while you definitely will not run into any of the Sex and the City gals here, if you can appreciate that a cold can of PBR is truly the finest beverage around (it didn't win that blue ribbon for nothing), then you will certainly feel "welcome" here.

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Nightlife • Lower East Side

Formaggio Essex

I'm not going to pretend like I'm some sort of fine cheese connoisseur, but I am a big fan of cheese, and I can say without reservation that Formaggio Essex, the tiny little sliver of a cheese shop tucked away in the back of the Essex Street Market, sells the most delicious cheeses I have ever tasted. And yes, I've eaten a lot of cheese, so that is saying something. The goat cheeses are the most flavorful I've ever tasted, the parmesan is transcendent, and the gouda is borderline life-altering. Since discovering Formaggio, it's become difficult to eat cheeses from other stores. If you don't believe me, but you are not quite ready to make the financial investment yet, there is always a variety of free samples out for you to thoroughly enjoy. And do not be intimidated by the vast selection of unfamiliar cheeses from far-off lands; the uncommonly friendly and knowledgeable staff is at your service to make your decision easy and filled with lip-smacking free samples. Unfortunately, cheeses this fine do come with a fairly heavy price tag, but I guarantee that if you bring Formaggio cheese to a dinner party, you will certainly be invited back.

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Shopping • Lower East Side

Mush You Can Believe In

I never really knew what the hell the 'porridge' was that Goldilocks swiped from the bears, but I have a feeling it was nothing like the congee (English translation=porridge) you'll find at this fantastic LES mega-eatery. The porridge here comes in 30 varieties, from sliced pork and preserved egg (egg soaked in tea) to pork, chicken and duck; to more adventurous options such as abalone and frog or pig's blood. For an average price of $3-$4, you receive a bubbling congee cauldron that could easily be a meal unto itself, if only the dim sum menu and encyclopedia of entrees weren't too tempting to pass up. The downside to this prime joint is the crowds. The entry room feels like a Shanghai subway station at rush hour, and, unless you go alone at an odd hour on a Monday night, you'll have to wait. And chances are you'll have to wait longer than they tell you upfront. But if you've never been, it's certainly worth dealing with the line; it's all part of the Congee Village experience. Go with a large group, and try to score a lazy Susan banquet table so you can sufficiently sample the extensive menu.

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Restaurants • Lower East Side

Theatrics, Then Coffee

Starbucks-weary coffee lovers, rejoice! The solution to your dull, order-and-receive chain-store woes lies in the Roasting Plant, a tiny, eccentric LES coffee shop. While it may well be the best coffee in the city (a qualified compliment), it's been bringing caffeine addicts below Delancey since last spring, and its diverse, never-bitter selection of fresh-roasted beans is only part of the draw. Whole, raw beans are roasted right in front of your eyes in eight distinct flavors, ranging from nutty, earthy undertones to sweeter, fruitier essences. The friendly staff takes your order and taps away at a touch-screen monitor. Suddenly, the perfect amount of whole beans is suctioned from the container holding the roast of your choice. The beans fly through a series of tubes across the ceiling into the coffeemaker, where they are simultaneously ground and brewed. The result is the perfect cup of fresh-brewed coffee, with flavors so bold the caffeine is hardly necessary for your morning jolt.

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Coffee • Lower East Side

Appealing In Theory

For a place called Cake Shop, the baked goods at this LES staple are surprisingly meh. But really, if you want a cupcake, go to Billy's. People come to Cake Shop to feel like they are amongst the musically savvy. Downstairs, the small windowless concert venue hosts up-and-coming bands for cheap. They're good bands, too--the kind that will be at Bowery Ballroom for twice the price in a few months. Upstairs, the wood-paneled walls are like the shitty camp bunk you hoped never to enter again. There are small tables along one side, a counter in front, and banquettes in the back. The music is consistently played very loud, making conversation awkwardly yelly. Used records and CDs are sold in the back, with posters and record covers lining the walls behind the cases of music merch. The lighting is dim and the tables are wobbly to the point that they might break but the venue attracts a cool crowd and unites a knows-their-shit music community. It's like the girl who dresses a little sloppy and is casually cool--but a café. And a bar! And a concert venue! All the elements are there! Fantastic.

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Nightlife • Lower East Side

Vestments Vertiginous

I'm hip to Narnia. It's a reliable store. Expensive, but of continuously excellent stock. I'm down with the salesladies. I've seen them steaming. A vintage store without clothes that are steamed is like a bed full of bedbugs that hasn't been exterminated. But anyway, like you were thinking: the vintage stores on the LES are wont to posturing and overpricing. It is their way, but it is not mine. There are (a few) cheaper stores than this and many that are costlier; surely the wares at Narnia are no steal, but o, they will last a lifetime. For example, I have over the past few years bought from Narnia one pair of too-big red winter boots, excellent blue and white striped shorts, brown leather lattice sandals, a shiny Betsey Johnson party dress, a checkered picnic blanket of an early 90s Contempo Casuals dress, an indecent red Alaia for real and baggy MC Hammer/Charlie Chaplin overalls. I remain enamored of my Narnia purchases, though I know I am continually not getting any deals.

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Shopping • Lower East Side

Prime Pickle-Watching

This Lower East Side cafe provides a calm, unpretentious respite from the trendytown around. Seating options abound: if you want to make pedestrians jealous, there are a handful of tables along a slight strip of outdoor sidewalk; if you want to watch them quietly from indoors, there is a wide windowed view to check out well-heeled passers-by; or, if you want to get away from it all, there is quieter dimmer seating downstairs, an array of board games within reach. Against the exposed brick backdrop, the clientele are a chill bunch, mostly readers and laptop users. The cafe's music selection is just what you wanted to hear (Kings of Leon! Bowie!). Did I mention the cafe's immediate access to pickles? There is a dead-on view of Guss's, which sometimes (always) makes me want to abandon my reading mid-page (and chai latte mid-sip) in favor of chomping a jar of three-quarter sours.

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Coffee , Restaurants • Lower East Side

Raiments To Rave O'er

Firstly, this is the best vintage store in the LES. My hips (arms and legs) don't lie. Secondly, the information the Internet is feeding me regarding this store is altogether bedevilling. I see typically pseudo-retro Polaroids, an arguably cheesy Myspace page and talk of parties and performances in-store. Why I find this discouraging is perhaps because I hold the Fox in extreme regard and don't like a) word getting out about my favorite store, nor b) pesky social events getting in the way of my shopping. After all, the clothes here are wholly fantastic and incredibly reasonably priced. An excellent blue-and-white seashell peasant skirt or delicate tea rose blouse only costs around $15, a Mad Men-esque little fuschia dress $32 and the highest I have encountered: $50 for a short jean jumpsuit. Have I mentioned the people who run the place are way cool? They're always hanging loose with their pals, but nonetheless willing to offer a helping hand/critique. I'm surprised the LES still has room for cool, normally-priced places like this. I am confused, frightened and ungirded by the possibility of its being exposed to the masses, but fear will not win over my desire to triumph in the realm of clothes.

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Shopping • Lower East Side

Shit on a Stick

Yes, folks, gaze and wonder at the unrivalled beauty of the East Broadway F train stop, which doubles as the main subway stop for NFT staffers. Eagerly I await every year's awards for the "worst ten subway stations" and never do I see the East Broadway F stop on it (the Smith & 9th F/G stop? C'mon! At least there's fresh air on the platform!). We pay high rents, have scuzzy landlords, still get mugged, have overcrowded schools and overanxious police, and, of course, have to deal with horrific terrorist attacks. And then we have to wait for a train in a station that looks like Satan took a crap all over the place. Well, at least you can console yourself that the Straphangers Campaign gives a shit, as you can see by its yearly line-by-line ratings, and the helpful "how to complain" section of its website. Be a New Yorker: kvetch, already (unless you want to risk piquing the interest of over-attentive city beautifiers who will cleanse the stop of its character, rid the Chinatown of its Chinamen, heighten the rent on our office and subdue NFT to its expiry. Your decision)!

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Landmarks • Lower East Side

Socialists and Their Herring

Under the Shadow of the Manhattan Bridge, at the ass end of Orchard Street, tucked away behind a nondescript glass front, lies shabby-chic Good World Bar & Grill. Run by a Brit and a Swede, this local haunt for the LES peeps looking to get away from the new condo class invading their nabe has the only herring I have ever enjoyed and a decent selection of beer on tap. If you really want to feel at home here, buy the bartender a shot of tequila and join him or her for a smoke in the back garden (formerly a shoot-up haven for junkies) and you'll end up in a fascinating conversation about socialism (or whatever) with one of the owners, late into the night, warming yourself by the outdoor fireplace and forgetting that you have no idea how to get home.

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Nightlife , Restaurants • Lower East Side

Stumblebum Brass Band

New York Magazine says the Stumblebum Brass Band's "gritty, whiskey-soaked songs like 'Smokin' and Drinkin' rile up guests with Mardi Gras verve." MTV News describes their music as "rousing anthems." Jack Newcastle of The Cad notes their ubiquitous manifestations: "As of late, this hypnotic rumbling-raunch-jazz trio has been turning up all over the city in a nearly Mephistophelean manner. They appear from nowhere, breath smoke and fire from trumpet and tuba, pound on their drum whilst parading through the crowd (or wedding party--which is how I first saw them), and then abruptly disappear into the New York night. Are they banshees? wraiths? demons? Do they possess some uncanny ability to locate a lull in frivolity and then dispel it with ungodly powers?" The Stumblebum Brass Band (www.stumblebumbrassband.com) will be performing at the Living Theatre with the world renowned trombonist, Curtis Fowlkes, this Saturday, April 5th at 10 PM. Tickets are $5 advance/$10 door.

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Theaters-Performing Arts Centers • Lower East Side

Chop N' Shop

Frank's Chop Shop looks a bit odd: adjacent to Chinatown and the Lower East Side, yet not a Chinese barber in sight; old school stools and razors sharing space with new school fashion and photography; music jumping from Indie to Country to Hip Hop; and a clientele that reaches from Wall Street workers to LES loiterers to Japanese tourists. So if Frank's seems hard to peg, let me clear the air: it's an unpretentious throwback with flavor to spare, offering a range of honest cuts from standard pro(fessional) to fresh fades and letters. Leave your style worries at the door and let head barber Mr. B or Fritz fix you up; with almost three decades of experience between them, they know their way around a head. Exclusive New Era fitteds too, if that's your thing. Chop n' shop, baby!

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Services • Lower East Side

The Rainbow Connection

Rainbow isn’t a “cool” store. Its got fluorescent lights and pegboard walls and seems to endlessly need vacuuming. However, it’s the secret of hot bohemian ladies all over New York that they, in fact, shop at Rainbow. My friend’s hairdresser, who charges $100 for a haircut, buys all her clothes there. So yes. The ambiance is depressing, the service leaves a lot to be desired (like possibly a smile, once?) But! You can get slammin’ hot pink pumps for $12 and underpants that could possibly appear well-made for $4. I bought silver leggings there for $5 and are referred to by unknowing friends as “My American Apparel tights.” HA HA HA. When I wear my cute outfits from Rainbow, the joke’s on you, and the sweatshop kids that made them.

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Shopping • Lower East Side

Sunshine Café

When you grow up eating dahn taht–Chinese custard tarts–you spend a good part of your adult life longing to find that perfect one that will remind you of when you were a kid. Stroll through Chinatown in any city, and you'll find them in almost every bakery display, the bright yellow custard catching your eye and enticing you closer and closer. But you can't judge a dahn taht without tasting it; most are nothing more than a sugary, pre-fab, gloppy, soggy mess. But once in a rare while you'll find one that tastes like it's made from scratch. The pastry will look hand-formed and be flaky and tender. The custard will have that vibrant hue and a little bit of caramelization around the edges. It will have a creamy yet thick texture and a sweet eggy-ness that will transport you right back to your childhood days. Ahhh, sweet, custardy bliss! At the Sun Shine Cafe, regression sure does taste good.

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Restaurants • Lower East Side

Psychic Vacuum Exhibit

Ever had to sign a waiver to attend an art show? If you answered no, then you’ve never been to an exhibit by renowned British artist Mike Nelson. He specializes in creating crazy architectural environments, and he has temporarily transformed an abandoned building of the old Essex Street Market into an interactive maze full of Americana and found art. His first large scale exhibit in New York, Psychic Vacuum, is perfect for anyone who loves to explore decaying urban landmarks. This former bustling market place is now a ghost of its former self and Nelson captures its haunting spirit perfectly. You can linger for hours in each room and attempt to interpret the imagery, or just wander like a little kid excited to see what lies behind the next door. With limited viewing times of 12-6 pm Fridays through Sundays until October 28, you better make plans to check it out soon before the building returns to obscurity. Or becomes another fancy condo.

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Landmarks • Lower East Side