Portland

Shop Local

As nice as the Internet is (and it is very nice) being able to click through tons of webcomics and artists' homepages doesn't really replace the feeling of going into a gallery or shop, especially when it comes to locally produced art. Being able to pace around a gallery, or leaf through a zine, is still great, especially in a place where you just might find the very artist whose work you're admiring in the same space with you. The Pony Club offers plenty for anyone interested in Portland's local art scene. The gallery features shows and release parties, and the racks are full of comics and other work, happily written and published by ink-stained Portlanders. This is precisely where you go if you want to find what's uniquely local, what makes Portland Portland. Have a look at the art. Buy a local comic. Ask whoever is in there about the art- they'll have something to say about it. Portland is full of writers and artists, and this is precisely the kind of place to find them.

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Art Galleries • All Neighborhoods

Keeping It Weird

Various bumper stickers and signage in Portland proclaim, in yellow-on-black letters, that residents should "Keep Portland Weird." The now-popular slogan has become something of a cliché, but landmarks like the 24 Hour Church of Elvis are testament to the city's oddness. Nestled into a wall on Couch, the Church proclaims itself to be "Art for the Smart," and completely coin-operated. Deposit a quarter into the contraption and, well, stuff happens. The screens flicker with images and "sermons," things move, music plays. By day, it is merely weird. Put a coin into the Church at night, in darkest Old Town, and it is downright hallucinatory. Generally (but not reliably) the Church will give you some sort of prize, ranging from an enigmatic bit of plastic to an ID card that proclaims the bearer to be both a saint in the Church of Elvis and (somehow simultaneously) Elvis himself. Portland, yes, is weird, and will remain so as long as Elvis may be paid tribute to with quarters and awe. And yes, it is a real church. You can get married here.

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Places of Worship • All Neighborhoods

The Answer to Everything

Backspace is the answer to many questions. "Where can we get a cup of absolutely wonderful Stumptown coffee?" Backspace. "Where can we take in a concert or poetry slam?" Backspace. "Where can one find awesome local art plastered all over the walls?" Backspace. "What's the coolest spot for LAN parties in Portland?" Backspace. While it is mainly a coffee and sandwich shop, Backspace is more of a nexus for Portland, a venue people go to for the sake of going there. Nestled between the Someday Lounge and Ground Kontrol, it is the heart of Old Town. Music is performed, art is shown, and events of various stripes are held. In the back, Old Town Computers plays hosts to LAN parties, and one may reliably find gaming enthusiasts attached to various screens in the backroom. The walls are a constantly shifting array of works by local artists, and without fail there are an array of open books and laptops, busy locals working away. "Where can I get a cup of coffee in Portland, soak up local culture, and hang out in one of the coolest parts of town?" You know the answer.

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Coffee • All Neighborhoods

FDA Approved & Addicting

Doughnuts. Doughnuts of profuse and myriad variety, of staggering, sugary diversity. Nestled between a pornographic theater and a night club, Voodoo Doughnut has gone from being an obscure, tiny shop in Old Town to being one of Portland's most iconic and successful businesses. It is easy to see why. Looking at the variety of doughnuts, not a single one seems unaltered. There are the eponymous Voodoo doughnuts, shaped like hapless dolls. They are run through with pretzel sticks, and bleed jelly when skewered. There are doughnuts crowned with bacon, Capn' Crunch and whole bits of chocolate, doughnuts bedecked with pentagrams and arcane symbols, doughnuts shaped like provocative bits of human anatomy. The enormous Tex-ASS doughnut sits like a glazed tire, a monstrosity of potential gluttony. If you can eat it in a minute and a half, it's free. The shop used to sell Pepto Bismol and Nyquil doughnuts, until the FDA forced them to stop mixing OTC medication with pastries. The shop is tiny, crammed with photographs and ornamentation, and frequently crammed customers, and you may have to wait. Voodoo Doughnut, though, is a monument to Portland's inventiveness and oddness, in circular snacks and elsewhere.

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Shopping • All Neighborhoods

Sino Sanctuary

So I can't really claim that Portland's Lan Su Chinese Garden (formerly the Portland Classical Chinese Garden) is "not for tourists," as it's precisely the sort of place you'd take your visiting step-aunt, and every other person strolling among its camellias and lily pads has a Nikon around his neck. But I can tell you that the "Lan" in the name comes from Portland and the "Su" comes from Suzhou, Portland's Chinese sister city, which sent 65 of its artisans to Portland to assemble and complete the garden's intricate paths, walls, gates, and ceremonial rooms. I can also tell you that when Portland's mayor recently issued a proclamation in support of Tibet and the Dalai Lama, he didn't make any new friends in Suzhou. But within the cloistered gates, none of this matters. Go in late winter for the blooming jasmine, witchhazel, and camellias, in high summer for the lotus blossoms, in mid-fall for the Japanese maples, and marvel at this sanctuary of calm on the gritty edge of Portland’s Chinatown, just a few blocks from Portland’s Pearl District. Still feeling frazzled? Step into the two-story teahouse for some Chinese dumplings and restorative tea.

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Landmarks • All Neighborhoods

Weekday Wonder

Just to get this out of the way first: Yes, you'll see plenty of tourists at Huber's. It is Portland's oldest restaurant, and if you're there on the weekend you'll probably see plenty of tipsy out-of-towners downing its trademark Spanish coffees. Go during the week, though, and you'll be surrounded by locals in a handsome wooden room with not a single window but plenty of ambiance and good food. The place is a dark-wooded room full of dim light fixtures, and if smoking were still allowed in Oregon bars, it would be filled with a nicotine-scented cloud. The food is a delicious hodgepodge of items ranging from turkey quesadillas to Mongolian skewers to fried calamari. Those Spanish coffees, though, are what Huber's is most known for. Order one, and you'll have an elaborate pouring ceremony wherein delicious beverage bits are set on fire. Avoid the weekend rush, but check it out on a quiet Tuesday to get a bit of Portland history and drink booze that's been set on fire.

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Restaurants • All Neighborhoods

Joystick Memories

Remember Joust? You know--that game where you play a guy on a bird and you're fighting other guys on birds? That one. At any point did you say to yourself, "Hey, this game would be a lot better with DJs and beer"? Yes? Well, Ground Kontrol Classic Arcade is just the place for you! Ground Kontrol is a retro gamer's dream: It's all here: Asteroids, Galaga, Centipede, and Ms. Pac-Man. There's Street Fighter II, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and the huge six-player X-Men cabinet. Go upstairs, and pinball machines abound. If you insist on playing "new" games then Soul Calibur II and Marvel Vs Capcom II are both readily available. It's not just about video games, though. DJs and live shows are a regular feature in the arcade, for pinball addicts there's Pinbrawl, an annual tournament, and Joy Stick, an LGBT night. Ground Kontrol is not a geek-hole. Well, okay, it is. But it's a really, really cool, hip, fun geek-hole.

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Nightlife • All Neighborhoods

Ping's the Thing

Given the crowds drawn to Ping by the monster success of its sister restaurant, Pok Pok, we hit Ping during its quieter Happy Hour. Dave ordered a Singapore Sling and I opted for a cocktail made with shochu (a ubiquitous Asian spirit) and a drinking vinegar fermented from yams and honey. At my puzzled questions, our very accommodating waiter brought me a little tumbler of the syrupy vinegar to sample. The cocktail proved delicious, bracing company for peppery skewers of chicken breast and baby octopus. We also ordered the "deep-fried tiny fish." What can I tell you? They taste exactly like bacon. For dessert, Ping offered several choices, including pandanus ice cream. I ordered serradura, a Portuguese-Macanese pudding of cream and sweetened condensed milk, dusted with cocoa powder and a crunchy topping of crushed tea biscuits. You might be thinking "baby food," but I adored it. I also adored the artfully casual decor and sounds that ranged from Mavis Staples to techno. The tab ran to $30 for four skewers, the tiny fish, the serradura, the two cocktails, and a draft beer. My only quibble? The rolls of paper suspended over the bar resemble gas-station towel racks. Weird. But I'll be back.

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Restaurants • All Neighborhoods

Drag Yourself Here

If you like drag queens, and I can't think of a single reason why you wouldn't, you simply cannot miss the show at Darcelle XV Showplace. These ladies are consummate professionals who have been rocking the tuck for over 37 years. The stage is almost too small to hold the powerhouse performances. Particularly when Marcy Kraft does her Bette Midler routine. If you have time, you should make a night of it. Dinner reservations get you a meat and potatoes (or pasta for the veggies) meal while the queens mingle and give you a hard time. It's like a dirty version of Chuck E. Cheese. But the show more than tops anything those mangy animatronics puppets could do. Darcelle herself hosts, telling bawdy jokes and flashing her Barbie doll crotch in between acts. Stick around for the after-party featuring beefcake dancers who definitely don't do anything to hide their manhood.

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Nightlife • All Neighborhoods