Seattle

F-R-I-T-O P-I-E!

I'm not sure what it is that I love so much about Smarty Pants. I think it can be said in two glorious words. Frito Pie. Just saying Frito Pie should conjure up excitement and mystery. Is it a pie? Is it awesome? And does it really have Fritos in it? To answer my own questions, not exactly, yes! And YES! Before Smarty Pants, I never knew such a thing existed. I never thought such goodness in the world was possible. And when the tattooed clad waitress who was either flirting with me or hated my guts handed me my first warm bowl of meat and beans and FRITOS!, all it took was my first bite to know that I found something special (and not that kind of special) at Smarty Pants.

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Restaurants • SoDo / Beacon Hill / Georgetown

Blunch Time!

Finding good Eggs Benedict is a difficult and risky endeavor. Moreso than with other breakfast dishes (pancakes, for instance), you need to be careful ordering sight unseen. But I love any excuse to visit Georgetown and brunch at Smarty Pants is one of the better ones. I'm sure glad I tried the Benie because now I know it's one of the best in the city. The hollandaise is perfect and they will throw some Morningstar Farms veggie sausage on there for you if you don't dig on swine. If you do enjoy consuming farm animals, they have you covered there too. The corned beef hash is made from scratch and the Huevos Panteros is a delicious, crispy take on the ranch-style dish. The hash browns are all grease and crunch and could use a little work, but their featured dishes are spot on. Weekend mimosa and bloody deals help you recover from the night before. Lunch or dinner boasts an equally impressive menu, including brats, cheesesteak, succulent pork and the B.E.L.T. (B.L.T. with hard boiled egg). Sub any meat with field roast. You'd be stupid pants not to like this place.

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Restaurants • SoDo / Beacon Hill / Georgetown

Cirque de New Career

Screw being a doctor, screw being a lawyer, screw any other what-I-want-to-be-when-I-grow-up dream. Your newfound purpose in life is the circus. Seattle's School of Acrobatics and New Circus Arts (SANCA) will train you as an aerialist, acrobat, or trampoline phenom. Circus training will open doors you never thought possible! Develop your skills as a circus freak or become a cabaret star--think Teatro ZinZanni or Cirque du Soleil. Hell, sign up for a spot at the Pike Place Market and busk your way to success. What tourist wouldn't pay handily to see a hot, half-naked girl contort herself into unmentionable positions while fish are tossed in the background? And if you're not much of an exhibitionist, why not sign your kid up for classes? You don't have to be Dina Lohan or Lynne Spears to want your child to succeed, and I've heard circus artist is the new socialite.

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Schools • SoDo / Beacon Hill / Georgetown

BBQuestionable

I am totally biased when it comes to BBQ. Back in Atlanta, I used to get my pulled pork sandwiches on white bread from a trailer home, where the old woman/owner would give me the stink eye when I refused her Pig's Feet from a jar. So when I went to Peco's BBQ, like most BBQ in Seattle, I went in thinking whatever I get will most likely be shitty, with a hint of crap on the side. And my expectations weren't far from the truth. The excitement of the people standing in line means their sandwiches should be worth waiting for, but they weren't. They were just okay. I enjoyed the sloppiness of my pulled pork, but the flavor was bland. Maybe even ketchupy? The beans tasted microwaved hot and worst of all--a hamburger bun. No white bread in sight. No pig's feet. And no old woman with crazy eyes. I've heard a lot of people like this little outdoor, bench-seating only restaurant. And it's probably mentioned in some Best list somewhere, but like I said before I'm biased, and this Peco's was not worthy of my BBQ approval.

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Restaurants • SoDo / Beacon Hill / Georgetown

Games, Drinks, Mystery

The Georgetown neighborhood is Seattle's best kept hipster secret and I think a lot of people like it that way, so keep what I'm about to tell you on the proverbial D.L. Georgetown Liquor Company rules. Sure it possesses an unassuming moniker, is tucked away inconveniently (aurally speaking) next to active cargo train tracks, but that's why one's able to head there on a weekend and have no trouble getting a service. And that's hardly the best part. I have good news and I have better news. The GOOD news is that G.L.C. serves a huge menu full of 100% vegetarian (and approximately 38% vegan) sandwiches and salads with nerdy names (Sulu Skewers, Darth Reuben). And ooh boy, are they delicious. If you do cheese, you will be over the moon about the Luna. The BETTER news is that you can relive your childhood (this time with booze!) by indulging in a bevy of Atari, classic or Super NES games on one of 3 set-ups. If you can reminisce (about) it, they have it. But be warned before you start the trash talking. Unless you're Steve Wiebe, you're probably a little rusty at Donkey Kong.

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Nightlife , Restaurants • SoDo / Beacon Hill / Georgetown

Be A Man

Come dressed in some combination of black, work boots, Carhartts, motorcycle jacket, and a million tattoos, and you will blend in beautifully. The good news is that even if you show up without getting the wardrobe memo, you'll get excellent service and only a handful of curious looks. With Bon Jovi on the stereo and screechingly loud trains passing by every fifteen minutes or so, sometimes the place gets a little overwhelming. Just roll with it. You'll be eternally grateful you plugged your ears (every fifteen minutes or so) and stuck with it for (1) the extensive selection of über-manly vegetarian food made with faux meat produced up the street at The Field Roast Grain Meat Co; (2) an awesome collection of free-to-play Atari and NES video games; and (3) Sunday movie night. To top it off, the place is 21+ so you get none of the raucous, over-flowing family gatherings you'd find up the street at Stellar’s Pizza. And now that you’ve got the memo, dress appropriately.

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Nightlife , Restaurants • SoDo / Beacon Hill / Georgetown

Besmirch the Walls You Love

If you've never heard about this Graffiti Wall then most likely you'll never just happen upon it. The Wall gives taggers the opportunity they’ve been waiting for--free reign and total freedom to say whatever they want through a few spray cans. Whether it's Free Tibet or U Suck Balls, there's beauty spray painted on every inch of this massive wall. But finding this hidden gem is the trickiest part. It's basically across from Starbucks headquarters, right behind where all these trucks are, facing the train tracks. Then you have to knock three times, and oh wait, that's someplace else. Anyway, the graffiti changes all the time, so it's just like going to a rotating gallery, but without all those snobs talking about the philosophy behind the color blue.

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Landmarks • SoDo / Beacon Hill / Georgetown