New York

Everything they say is true! There were tater tots ladled out of a giant gaping vat of fry batter (that looked like a dishwasher) behind the bar. There was a cover charge, those money-grubbing fools. And there were some bands that burst my ears off and left me miserable, deaf and alone. However, I must say, despite the volume, the bands were not bad. And despite the goddamned seven dollars they stole from me, the drinks were plentiful. And atop those fried potaters, there was an endless supply of free ketchup packets. And hey, the random batch of Trash Bar patrons that one Tuesday night on which I visited was a relatively amiable one. So, three cheers and well done, you’re not too trashy at all! I mean, come on, tater tots are just potatoes!

Photo:  Courtesy of Free Williamsburg