Lunchbox Laboratory
The menu is confusing and overwhelming. The tables are
covered in cringe-inducing, slightly crusty black velvet. The space is tiny and
smells like grease. The burgers are shockingly expensive. But they are also
world peace inducingly good. Like if Shimon Peres and Mahmoud Abbas sat down
over a Super Baby Beef Burger with maple bacon, caramelized onions, and Satan's
Habanero Ketchup they could reach an agreement. First you choose your meat from
a selection of Dork (a duck and pork burger), Lawrence Velk (venison and elk),
lamb, veggie falafel, or plain Jane cow. Now it's time to channel your inner
Beaker and play mad scientist. Experiment. Get crazy. Layer on the cheeses,
toppings, and sauces for a fifteen dollar burger you and your intestines won't
soon forget. Even the sides switch it up on you. Pick a potato--tot, sweet, or
shoestring--and then decide on a fry salt. Everyone chooses bacon, even the
vegetarians.
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