Fire Up That Bill

Mom and Dad coming in to town? Are they staying in Midtown and are willing to blow some bucks on a "nice" restaurant? We have the answer: Beacon. Waldy Malouf's wood-fired goodness will put a smile on their faces, except when the bill comes (but like a good offspring, if you've prepared them first, this shouldn't matter). From wood-fired artichokes to wood-fired oysters, it's all good. The $29 "nose to tail" lamb was a treat--easily one of the best chops I've ever eaten, along with lamb ribs, lamb meatballs, and lamb kidneys wrapped in bacon. Get a table near the kitchen and enjoy. Just make sure you're not the one paying.

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Restaurants • Midtown

A Family Affair

"No no no, honey, we'll come to New York!" That is the sound of family visiting for the holidays, which are coming up soon, whether you like it or not. This means that any number of your clan members will show up without maps or a clue, and they will need specific directions to entertain themselves while you live your life, i.e. go to work and do things you don’t want them to know about. An old standby of mine is to send them to Columbus Circle. Here they can do all this without leaving the immediate area, mostly inside the Time Warner Center: go shopping; use the restroom; eat something relatively inexpensive (Whole Foods or Borders); eat something very expensive (Per Se and many others); check out Jazz at Lincoln Center (either a performance or their gift shop and multimedia Hall of Fame); explore Central Park on foot, bike, or carriage; or visit the sleek new Museum of Art and Design on the south end of Columbus Circle, whose gift shop nearly rivals that of MoMA. They can also walk straight down Broadway until they hit Times Square, which means you won't have to go with them later. Next stop: something you actually want to do.

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Landmarks • Midtown

Abstract Expressionism: Through 10/31

Hey midtowners: on your lunch break next week, take a few minutes to stop by Michael Rosenfeld's gallery on 57th Street. The current show is "Abstract Expressionism: Further Evidence (Part Two: Sculpture)," through October 31. Three pieces totally blew me away: Lee Bontecou's "Untitled [MR13]," Claire Falkenstein's "Sun #10," and Theodore Roszak's "Exploding Star." Also with pieces by Louise Nevelson, Louise Bourgeois, and Ruth Asawa. Say hi to the security guard on the ground floor; why not?

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Art Galleries • Midtown

Prime Time

 I've walked by here a million times but never even took a minute to look in. Finally, when a buddy was visiting from LA, I hatched a plan to go for breakfast before I deposited him on the E train to JFK. The second we entered, I knew it was going to be a memorable experience. There were a couple of CEO/Hollywood types that occupied the front booth that seemed to know everyone. Picture some millionaire with long hair and spandex. Ok, now get that picture out of your head. Fast. The waiters we're incredibly short tempered and couldn't care less (ah, New York). And the space is a complete retro throwback to a different era. Yes, they have grill hood stenciled with their logo. The food? Well, if you thought it was impossible to mess up eggs and toast, you've never been to Primeburger. But who cares when you have guys in paper hats, the longest counter I've seen in New York, and diner atmosphere galore. In today's New York it's nice to know some good old fashioned, non-trendy joints are alive and well.

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Restaurants • Midtown

Edible Art

They're almost too pretty to eat...almost. Hard-to-find this side of the Pacific, wagashi are traditional Japanese pastries that have played a role in tea ceremonies for centuries. They're usually shaped from sweet rice paste, bean paste, or jellied fruits into exquisite cakes, flowers, and animals. At this Midtown bakery, wagashi are displayed inside dramatically-lit glass cases, as if their sole purpose were to be admired. But make no mistake, they are quite snackable, and at $2-$3 per piece, they're within reason when your sweet tooth begs for something different. Lest you worry about what you're biting into, calorie, ingredient, and freshness information is meticulously displayed, and the counter people are unfailingly friendly, despite an occasional language barrier.

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Shopping • Midtown

Long Live the King

I remember going to FAO Schwartz back in the early part of the decade; right around their bankruptcy problems, and thinking that it was so overrated. Well, glad to see that getting more focused (they canned their mall stores in the bankruptcy) actually helps sometimes--since now FAO Schwartz is pretty much back to its former glory as a great, great toy store. And not just because it can keep my four-year-old occupied for hours; there is plenty of cool stuff for toy-minded adult nerds, like the 7-foot high Lego Darth Vader, an excellent Lionel train set-up, a working SCX Slot-racing track, and a make-your-own Matchbox car machine (or maybe it's Hot Wheels; doesn't matter, they're owned by the same company). Oh, yeah--and your kid can dance on the piano, too!

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Bookstores , Shopping • Midtown

Hooray Hooray Hooray for the...

Libraries: they still exist! You stopped visiting when you discovered the internet, but the library has gone on without you, acquiring lots of new books (including current bestsellers) and keeping fabulous with new media, special events, and user-friendly upgrades. Of course, it's still free, and will even trust people like you with up to 30 books, CDs, and DVDs at a time. By the way, Wikiholics: the library still has way more information than the internet, on almost all topics except for breaking news, your "friends network," shopping, and porn. So if you only remember libraries in the context of tedious research projects, you owe it to yourself to go check out something fun. Perhaps a nonfiction bestseller, a trashy romance novel, or just something with a lot of swear words. Go to the NYPL website to check the location and availability of a book you want, or to reserve or renew a title. Yes, it's all very contemporary now. But I'm pleased to report that the library still has that comforting old-book smell.

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Libraries • Midtown

Worth Fighting For

If you have ever been subjected to working 9-5 in midtown Manhattan, you understand the horror of finding lunch. Not that it's difficult--from most office buildings you can throw your stapler and hit one of the ubiquitous over-priced chains such as Cafe Metro, Pax, or Europa Cafe. However, if you care at all about quality, or can't stomach paying $7.95 for a Panini made two days ago, things are a bit tougher. Luckily, there is Cafe Zaiya. Think cheap Japanese food court. They have Onigiri (triangles with various fillings surrounded by sushi rice and wrapped in Seaweed), tons of boxed lunches, and delicious cheap sandwiches. As ingenious as it is delicious, Cafe Zaiya has a huge case of house-made sweets, as well as a Beard Papa Cream Puff Counter. Here, ten dollars can easily buy you a boxed lunch, a rice triangle and dessert. While this place is a super find, it's not exactly a secret. Expect crowds, disorientation, and mayhem if you dare enter during lunch. But hey, isn't delicious, cheap and flavorful always worth fighting for? Elbow that analyst out of your way and grab the last fried chicken sandwich. It's worth inflicting pain on somebody. Really.

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Restaurants • Midtown

A Haven in Times Square

If working in Times Square is the disease, Jimmy's Corner is the cure. This narrow, 40-year-old dive just keeps on keepin' on, stealthily ministering to a cross-section of locals through the neighborhood's gradual touristification. Owner Jimmy Glenn was a professional trainer, as evidenced by the boxing memorabilia all over the walls, and tabletops featuring photos of patrons preserved in amberish laquer add to the overall air of nostalgia. Beers are domestic and cheap ($4 pints of Bud Light, Heineken, or Sam Adams), and food is non-existent, but at Jimmy's you feast on atmosphere. The soul of this bar is the jukebox, which cranks out one Stax gem after another, and the friendly service, which provides an oasis from the theater-going hordes outside. If you're lucky, you might catch Jimmy himself working behind the bar.

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Nightlife • Midtown

Art Deco Design: Rhythm and Verve

Times are hard, yo. Saving, or only making "reasonable" purchases, is no strength of anyone's. But, if you look back to other troubled times (i.e. the motherlode of economic recessions in the '20s), you'll find that style did not have to be compromised. Stop staring longingly at shop windows and go get some cultcha--without forfeiting a visual intake of style. Check out the Art Deco-focused exhibit at the New York Public Library Art Deco Design: Rhythm and Verve (through January 11). It's free and features the prettiest Art Deco pochoir patterns (a.k.a stenciled images for textile design).

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Landmarks • Midtown

Prepare to Be Amazed

Step aside, MoMA and Whitney, your days of boasting New York's coolest contemporary art are over. The brand-new Museum of Art and Design contains so many awe-inducing works that by the end of your visit your jaw will hurt from constant dropping. While the permanent collection is indeed worth a visit, the temporary exhibit, in which artists turn everyday objects into gasp-inducing creations, will undoubtedly make you forget that you just paid $15 to get in. When you enter the exhibit, you see an average-looking bookshelf. Upon walking around the other side, however, you see that the pages of every book have been sanded to create a towering Buddha head that will require several minutes of gawking to fully grasp. Another highlight is a series of hanging spools that at first looks like nothing but a colossal waste of string. However, when you peer through the glass ball propped up in front of the spools, the glass shrinks and inverts the image into a near-perfect replica of the Mona Lisa. Get to the museum long before closing to allow ample time to fully absorb all the astonishing works. And be sure to go before "Second Lives: Remixing the Ordinary" closes on February 15th.

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Museums • Midtown

Your Wurst Is Not Cursed

NFT's affection for the Hallo Berlin restaurant on Tenth Ave is long-standing, but a special mention is in order for the place where it all got started--their cart on Fifth Avenue and 54th Street (11:30 am-3:30 pm, cash only). Despite the plaudits of some of my gourmand friends, I wasn't expecting a whole lot from German food (despite being half-German). And yet I must confess my first bites of their "Double Soul Mix" were an amazing experience. It was really, really good. As in, for that moment, I felt it could have been the best thing I ever tasted. Grilled bratwurst, sauerkraut, cabbage, onion and sauce all mingled and blew my mind. Maybe it was the cold weather, the low expectations, or possibly some secret Teutonic spice that creates hallucinogenic conditions in the eater, but there's way more wurst in my life now than I ever expected.

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Restaurants • Midtown

The Magic of Muji

Thank you Japan for giving us another reason to head to Midtown (not that we don't love hanging out at Port Authority). Muji, the hip Japanese design store, has finally opened a full blown outlet in New York. The MoMA Store has carried a small line of Muji office supplies for a few years, and there's a nice little outlet on Broadway. But now Japanophiles can rejoice at the arrival of a full-blown megastore in the famous New York Times building. I may just climb up the side and unfurl a giant banner to proclaim my joy! From flip-flops to notebooks to serving spoons, Muji has transformed simple items into beautiful pieces of functional art. Think of it as a Japanese-style IKEA but cooler and without meatballs. Don't forget to bust out a few arigatos or konnichiwas while shopping to amuse the Japanese staff.

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Shopping • Midtown

Better Than Margaritaville

Oh, Tequilaville! Not to be confused with the somewhat frightening Margaritaville, Tequilaville's a Tex-Mex place that's pretty good, not outstanding and definitely looks like a chain (which at least means that there are comfortable booths--I secretly love booths). But here's the thing: It's around Grand Central, and as much as this publication is aimed at folks who are not tourists, sometimes we end up living like them. Sometimes we get off the train damn hungry, tired, craving a mojito and low on cash. Not to mention an OK, straightforward fajita. In which case, this is the place to go before heading home and passing out.

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Restaurants • Midtown

Lunch Alternatives

It is best to avoid working in midtown. If that proves impossible, it is imperative to seek out lunchtime alternatives to the sandwich/salad fare that studies have linked to office drone behavior like eating at one's desk, conversing about Grey's Anatomy, and failing to screen calls coming from the boss. Sukhadia's grub is just the thing: healthy, tasty, and diverse. The waiter service is fast and the takeout buffet is fresh, tidy and stuffed with vegetarian dishes from both northern and southern India, spicy and not. One can also score uber-vegan Jain meals to order, small snacks and sweets at the counter, and a decent cup of masala chai. For office birthdays, tins emblazoned with Lord Krishna and friends can be filled with candy for a nice gift at around $5. Sure, there might be better desi action in Queens, but you're at the corner of 45th and Fifth, so deal.

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Restaurants • Midtown

Bassett’s Ice Cream at FAO Schwarz

In 1861, Lewis Dubois Bassett began making ice cream using a mule-turned churn. Philadelphians have loved his family’s super-rich scoops ever since, steadily acquiring dairy pudge for more than 145 years. Now the Bassett’s deliciousness has finally made its way north to New York. The catch: you have to enter the toyland horror of FAO Schwarz to get to it. No matter, soldier on past the, ummm, toy soldier guarding the door and belly up to the FAO Schweetz counter under the mezzanine. Will it be double chocolate chip, mint chocolate chip, or maybe classic vanilla? Will you find that they have stocked the near-mythic Gadzooks, a rich chocolate studded with peanut butter, brownie chunks, and caramel swirls? Go, and seek your destiny.

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Bookstores , Shopping • Midtown

I [Stab] New York

Who do you want to knife, good reader? If I were unfortunate enough to go to prison I’d hope to be able to make myself a shiv. What with all the bad food and forced sexing, a stabbing implement would certainly come in handy. Lucky for me, the 30th Annual New York Custom Knife Show is in town. This means there are literally hundreds of stabbing options that await me. Which means a bloody, bloody Christmas has arrived early this year. Stab-tastic!

For more info check out: www.nyckshow.com

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Hotels • Midtown

Midtown Comics vs. Forbidden Planet

The two big comic shops in Manhattan are Forbidden Planet in Union Square and Midtown Comics (in Midtown, wouldn’t you know). Of the two, I prefer Midtown, which has a better selection of graphic novels and trade paper backs (though Forbidden Planet has more manga). This works in my favor because I don’t buy individual serials; it’s more efficient when Marvel or DC collects entire arcs into a single tpb. Additionally, Midtown has some great books: I found collections of Winsor McCay, Bernard Krigstein (inexplicably shelved with the porn), and a stack of old EC standbys like ShockSuspense Stories. Basically, I blow a lot of money on comics, and with every $100 I spend, Midtown gives me a $20 voucher. Forbidden Planet, to its credit, doles out student discounts (employees used to give out more, under the table, but the corporate office in England got antsy so for now, Midtown is the better deal). I also appreciate Midtown’s web site, which incorporates a search feature. Use it every Thursday, which is when distributors usually ship new comics. It’ll help you avoid the post-work riot.

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Bookstores • Midtown

Eating Modern at MoMA

There are no rules for ordering from this pro-noshing menu. Two sections of the menu feature appetizer-sized plates; the main courses aren’t all that much bigger than the starters—“half entrée” is how the restaurant describes the portion—but they include heartier dishes like steak and pork belly. I would love to have the homemade liverwurst and pickles platter again soon, and I’d go for the warm veal terrine while I'm at it. Considering both were appetizers, they were generously portioned and were perfect for sharing. The gnocchi with crispy sweetbreads is some of the most coveted gnocchi in the City, and the tarte flambée is often invoked by regulars of the modern (duh) but comfortable space. Go with a friend and linger over four or five dishes (or six or seven if you’re with me), but be sure to plan for dessert—what they do with seasonal fruit is the stuff of true happiness (oh cherry clafoutis, how I love you!).

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Restaurants • Midtown

Burger Joint

Why would you want to go wait on line for half an hour for a burger and fries at a place that is essentially a windowless back room, with crappy paneling, white acoustic tile ceilings, terrible lighting, no service, and a ruthless grab-as-you-can seating arrangement? You wouldn’t. So please, stay the fuck away from The Burger Joint inside the posh Parker Meridien Hotel. Go to the Hard Rock Café across the street—you’ll have a great time and maybe meet some celebrities! It’s really great there—lots of fun things to look at as well! You won’t make us cynical, artery-clogged New Yorkers feel bad, either—leave us to these strange passions and don’t even give it a second thought. Really.

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Restaurants • Midtown