Philadelphia

Morning Sunshine

Neighborhood francophiles rejoice! Let mother Paris keep her snails, mimes and moustaches; we've got Café L’Aube, and we're good with that. Transplants to the city--South Street in particular--chef-owner Jean-Luc Fanny and wife are serving coffee smoother and easier to down than their homeland's military. (Bam! History joke!) After all, it comes from their own L'Aube Torrefaction. But extolling these French just for their coffee is like praising your favorite Italian restaurant for the linens and forgetting the cannoli. The crowd pleasers, in this case, are the suite of sweet and savory crepes as well as the croque monsieur and company. Perfectly crispy bacon and egg, with a side of chocolate croissant? It's enough to make a lesser lady go all Sacrebleu!

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Coffee • Southwark West

Cabaret Potential

The first thing you must know about Nam Phuong is that it is a place you go for pho. That said, I have never ordered pho--as tempting as a soup as big as my face can be. I am not a creature of habit, but to be honest I never make it past Veggie Spring Roll Vermicelli ($4.95) and the avocado "fruit shake." The other vegetarian offerings are largely satisfying--lemongrass tofu, spicy eggplant, and others. The restaurant's Pepto Bismol decor is straight out of a southern Delaware hotel buffet restaurant that rents out as a ballroom for local high school dances. The ten foot stage near the entrance usually features stacked chairs and an unplugged fan, which isn't confusing so much as it is a waste of a perfectly good cabaret opportunity. This place is hopping on a Monday night as it is, could you imagine if there were bands and acrobats? Watch out for the chandeliers!

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Restaurants • Southwark West

That'll Do, Midget, That'll Do

I heard this was supposed to be the best pizza in Philly, so I ignorantly gave it a try during an Eagles football game. When I went to pick up the pizza, the joint was choked full of men, standing around a suspended television set soaking in every precious second of the game... not wanting to remove their eyes even to pay the cashier. The pizza itself was pretty satisfying although I ordered it with peppers and onions, which somehow translated to the mental midget on the other side to only one half of the pizza. My advice--try it if you're in the neighborhood, but don't make a special trip.

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Cheesesteaks , Restaurants • Southwark West

The Only Pinata in Town

You may have noticed, as you walked down Broad Street during all of the Phillies hubbub, that a giant six-story piñata is just hanging out in the empty lot on Broad and Washington. The piñata, surrounded only by moving trucks, a crane, and two dudes snoring on folding chairs, looks incredibly ominous. Where did it come from? Who really needs that much candy? Especially right after Halloween? The entire thing is suspect, which leaves only one conclusion. Surely this is a Trojan Piñata and some army of scary creatures, like Oompa Loompas, are going to come flying out of that thing and take over Philadelphia at any second. The newspapers would have us believe that it was just a lame cruise line publicity stunt. The Greeks probably fed the same story to the Trojans. Do not trust the piñata, Philadelphians!

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Landmarks • Southwark West

Happy Birthday, P.O.P.E.!

In today's fast-paced, short-attention-span world, we often look for what's up-and-coming rather than enjoying the here-and-now. Like those goldfish we won from traveling carnivals when we were little kids, local establishments often appear fine one day, then go belly-up the next. That's why it's cause for celebration when a great business actually thrives. Head to the P.O.P.E. on Saturday, June 28 to ring in the bar's second anniversary. The P.O.P.E. has come a long way since it opened two years ago--patrons can now kick back in a cozy lounge area inside or spend their lazy summer nights enjoying hearty draughts at outdoor tables. The jukebox alone is worth making the trip to South Philly. Forget soulless digital jukeboxes spewing over-played radio hits. Each CD in the P.O.P.E.'s jukebox has been hand selected with care. Don't be surprised if you walk out with a list of songs to buy from iTunes when you get home. And ladies, make sure you hit the powder room--the Tiger Beat collage will put a goofy smile on your face for days. Because who really needs more "Sheila is a bitch!" graffiti, anyway?

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Nightlife • Southwark West

Sustenance of Satan!

Upon hearing about Devil's Den, South Philly's newest gastropub, I immediately pictured a cramped, dingy bar. Walls painted black. Graffiti'd cliches smeared all over the bathroom walls in White-Out and Sharpie marker. Loud angry music and the smell of day-old vomit. You know... stuff you normally picture when you think of Hell. But how wrong I was. Devil's Den is not how I envision my inevitable afterlife at all--in fact, beer connoisseurs may think they've died and gone to heaven. Spacious and all kinds of swanky for a South Philly watering hole, Devil's Den features a huge selection of yummy and exotic brews to feast upon. The building itself has big windows that open on gorgeous summer days and two flat screens sit behind the bar, featuring whatever sport a Philly team is excelling in at the moment. Servers' faces are familiar if you've frequented other South Philly hot spots, so you'll feel right at home when you park yourself at the bar and lush it up.

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Nightlife , Restaurants • Southwark West

It Won't Hurt You

Sometimes you go to a brunch spot to order a much-needed breakfast burrito and when it's served you can't help but think: holy shit, this thing's so big it could knock Joey Chestnut out of an eating contest! Other times, you go to some fancy restaurant where food portions are miniscule and you shoot daggers at the dude scraping bread crumbs from your table with that weird tool...because you would have actually eaten those. If there exists such a thing as a Goldilocks of portion size, Black & Brew has nailed it. Good food, a cozy set-up, affordable prices, and an unpretentious atmosphere make this place a South Philly gem. Bring your dog and walk off the calories after you grab a sandwich or latte—pooches are welcome in the cafe. There are even dog treats at the counter so your furry friend doesn't gawk pleadingly at you the entire time you devour your scrumptious breakfast or lunch.

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Coffee • Southwark West

Touting Tootsie's

Why mess with the real thing? For 10 years Ms. Tootsie's has been home to "home cooking," dressing it up nicely to keep up with the clubbing crowd. You can still get your cheesy cheese macaroni, fried catfish, and collard greens. But instead of being slopped into styrofoam to-go containers, your okra and stewed tomatoes are piled high on white porcelain plates. Full of boisterous patrons mostly in romantic duos, Ms. Tootsie's has an ambiance of blue lights and soft blues. The brand-new bar next door shouldn't be passed up: a three-floor row home has been converted to a sophisticated series of intimate lounge spaces and sleek bars. And the signature drink? The Tootsie Roll of course!

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Restaurants • Southwark West

1540 to the Rescue

Remember when you lost your house key and, after enduring a lecture on responsibility from your roommate (who was under house arrest), you ran down to the corner hardware shop and had a new copy made just like that? Then Home Depot came along with its behemoth orange-ness, huge stock and insanely convenient hours and ruined it for all the mom ‘n pop shops. Well, one hardware store isn’t afraid to take on the giant. Bright yellow and impossible to miss, 1540 Hardware in South Philly is like the Mary Poppins bag of hardware stores. It’s a small shop, but they have just about anything you can ever imagine needing. Sidewalk salt for icy days? Check. Dowels to pop in your window frames so burglars can’t open the window? Check. Padlocks? Plungers? Trash cans? Flowers? Check, check, check, check. You get the picture. If you can’t find what you’re looking for on your own, the owners are infinitely helpful. So, flip the bird to those big chain box stores, where employees stare at you from dead eyes when you ask about removing super glue from human flesh, and go support your local hardware shop.

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Hardware Stores • Southwark West

It's Cheaper Than A Moat

Nothing says "stay out of my house and keep your mitts off my fully-loaded iPod, you little druggie punk" like a handy window grate from Anvil Iron Works. Whether you're looking for something fancy and decorative to keep the scourge of the neighborhood out of your house or something purely functional, Anvil will send someone out to measure your home's points of entry and custom design whatever it takes to make your wrought-iron dreams come true. Iron work does not come cheap, but you can't put a price on the peace of mind that comes from knowing someone has to be a hell-bent blow-torch-owner if he even wants to creep into your place to steal some meth money. If intruder issues aren't your bag, Anvil also designs an array of decorative and elegant stuff, like stairway railings, room dividers, trellises, furniture, and fireplace tools. And just in case you’re worried about credentials, rest easy--Anvil is a member of the National Ornamental & Miscellaneous Association. Take that, wannabe intruders!

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Shopping • Southwark West

Repent or Perish

Imagine, if you will, the following situation: You embark on a walk of shame down Passyunk, relieved you escaped a girl’s apartment before she woke up. You cannot wait to get your hung-over ass planted on your couch, where you’ll vegetate in front of the TV all day. Your suddenly remember what happened last night. After a zillion shots, you punched some guy who said he liked your shirt because you thought he was being sarcastic. After getting booted from the Cantina, you treated your boys to cheese steaks so you wouldn’t have to apologize for getting kicked out. Your roommate hit on some chicks while you stood in line at Geno’s and you got jealous. To get some attention, you challenged your roomy to a cheesesteak eating contest—six ‘whiz withouts’ later you were in bed with a girl who may have had a mustache. Just when you think you couldn’t feel worse, you pass the Godmobile, which loudly yells, “Unless ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.” For a moment, you think about going back to church and getting your life together. Then you go home and watch football.

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Landmarks • Southwark West

It's An Address Bar

Just because you’re not looking for a rowdy night doesn’t mean you don’t want to go somewhere for a relaxing drink. (Or seven.) And just because you live in South Philly doesn’t mean you have to go to a dive bar that serves cans of cheap domestic beer. Head to 1601, a swanky café that serves high-end beer and savory eats, like the truffled mac and cheese. Steve the bartender docks his stellar and diverse iPod so the crowd can rock out to tunes. Of course, if that’s just not good enough, there’s a jukebox, too. A flat screen TV adorns the wall of the cozy bar area, so you can catch the big game. Better yet, the walls of the dining room are festooned with local artwork—and not like you don’t know already, but Philly’s got some damn talented artists. The art displays rotate on a regular basis…which could make your “check out more cultured stuff” resolution easy to keep. Get there early so you can snag a seat at the bar. You won’t even believe how fast 2 am creeps up.

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Restaurants • Southwark West

Neighborhood Lights!

There are certain things you come to expect when you live in South Philly: corny ceramic figurines gracing every picture window, ornery drunk men yelling in the streets after an Eagles loss, dog poop on the sidewalk, bad grammar. Perhaps the most notable of South Philly’s trademarks, though, is the abundance of holiday cheer. Halloween brings haunted houses decked out with smoke machines and frights that send trick-or-treaters squealing fearfully down the street. Valentine’s Day pops up with a liberal amount of hearts and Cupids plastered onto every possible surface. Thanksgiving, Easter, Flag Day, you name it. South Philadelphians know how to celebrate a holiday. And Christmas is certainly no exception. If you’ve got a case of the holiday blues, a short stroll around South Philly could certainly help stifle your inner Grinch. Put on your parka and head out to 13th street between Tasker and Morris, where lights line the entire street. Drive down Oregon, between 20th and Broad and you’ll see pockets of neighborhood lights that make Clark Griswold’s look downright primitive. To the decorators of South Philly, I (and PECO) thank you for making the holidays festive and delightful. Cheers!

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Landmarks • Southwark West

Stenciled Face

You can’t walk anywhere in South Philly without keeping your eyes fixed on the ground in front of you because if you dare let your gaze wander, you’ll probably step in a pile of dog crap. In addition to scattered dog turds, the sidewalks are decorated with blackened wads of bubble-gum, scratch-off lotto tickets, and empty nickel bags. But occasionally you’ll find a little treasure, like the one near the corner of 13th and Federal streets. At first glance, you might excitedly think you stumbled on a Virgin Mary jackpot. Before you bust out a jackhammer and rip up the sidewalk so that you can sell the mother of god on eBay, take a closer look. Apparently someone stenciled Elvis Presley on the sidewalk and years of rain have caused it to fade. If it IS a picture of the King, the artist should find a new day job. Because upon closer observation, it kinda looks like Mary Poppins. Maybe she and Elvis had a love child whose picture is immortalized on the sidewalk? Who knows? But it’s a much better mystery to ponder than the one involving how to get dog poop out of your shoe’s treads.

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Landmarks • Southwark West

P.O.P.E

In the immortal words of Smashing Pumpkins…Hipsters, unite! They do just that at the P.O.P.E., where there’s an intimidating variety of beer on the menu that makes us Miller Lite-swigging corporate folk feel like assholes. Whether you’re a hipster or not, the P.O.P.E. is a great place to kick back with friends who enjoy talking rather than yelling at plasma screen TVs over bad sports plays. The jukebox alone can inspire hours of debate: some say it is hands-down the best jukebox ever. Others gripe that it is intentionally obscure. Either way, you’re bound to stumble on some good tunes while you shoot darts in the back of the bar and bravely sample a blueberry beer, which turns out to be delicious.

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Nightlife • Southwark West

Bitar’s Eastern Mediterranean Grill

Just about anyone who’s ever lived in Philly has OD’d on hoagies, pizza, and cheesesteaks at some point. On the occasional sweltering summer afternoon, when your body’s pores are actually sweating grease from your 4 am run to Geno’s the night before, you may even find yourself craving something slightly healthy. Mosey on over to Bitar’s Eastern Mediterranean Grill to appease your growling stomach with food that hasn’t been battered, fried, and dunked in an imitation cheese sauce. I personally recommend the Angelo Cataldi Chicken Sandwich. While Angelo Cataldi the radio-personality may be abrasive and nauseating, the sandwich is just the opposite. Marinated mozzarella, a pepper sauce, and lettuce rolled up in a pita don’t make for a drip-free meal, though, so load up on the napkins and avoid wearing your favorite white shirt. Of course, if the idea of supporting anything related to Angelo Cataldi is out of the question, the gyros and falafel sandwiches are delicious, too. Eat your meal at one of the small tables inside or out on the sidewalk, where there’s almost always a pick-up soccer or softball game at the park across the street to serve as your meal-time entertainment.

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Restaurants • Southwark West

Govinda's Gourmet to Go

It really irks me when people assume that all vegans care about their health and hate the taste of meat. Stereotyping. Blah. I mean just because I don't eat meat or dairy doesn't mean that sometimes I don't want to sit down, bite into a cheese-dripping pepper steak, and then fully comatize myself with grease and sugar by washing it down with a superrich brownie. I just want my steak, cheese, and chocolate to be nice to the animals. Soy power. Duh. Govinda's Gourmet to Go gets me on a fundamental, cheesesteak-in-philly level. Who cares if its definition of 'gourmet' is pretty far removed from Starr's? Hey, the price level is too, most excellently. Yeah, there's a good amount of sarcasm in the above paragraph, but what is sarcasm if not the anxious truth? Whatever I might mean by that, you should go to Govinda's Gourmet to Go, not to be confused with the nearby Govinda's Vegetarian (gourmet to sit), and eat like you used to before you got whipped into a liberal frenzy of food ethics, or at least taste like you used to. Mmmmm grease coma.

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Restaurants • Southwark West

Dolphin Tavern

You love strippers. But you don’t love forking over all your hard-earned cash money from last night’s shift at Chili’s to a chick who won’t even tell you her real name. And who enjoys going home only to get the third degree from your better half about why there’s glitter all over your face? Problem solved! Head to the Dolphin Tavern in South Philly on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights after 10pm. Aside from cheap beer, pool tables and a diverse crowd, you’ll find a mix of washed-up Go-Go dancers and newbies just getting their clear-platform-shoe-wearing feet in the door. The girls sway to tunes hand-picked from an outdated jukebox and seduce from their perches in the middle of the dark and grimy bar. The Dolphin’s dancers welcome your dollar bills, but won’t pressure you for them like the ladies in other clubs—and since they shake their money-makers at you from behind the bar, physical contact is minimal. So you won’t be banished to the couch after failing to make up a semi-believable story about where that pesky glitter came from.

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Nightlife • Southwark West

Tritone Bar

The rigors of faithfully cheering your home team are never easy, and if you’re from Philly, the Eagles will definitely drive you to drink sooner or later. Fortunately for tight-fisted football zealots still trying to drown out the memories of Philadelphia’s fruitless flirtation with Terell Owens, Philly is home to one of the cheapest drink combos in the country; the ubiquitous “special.” My favorite spot for this delectable combo is Tritone where a measly three bucks gets one a shot of Jim Beam and a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Not exactly a top shelf combo, but for the money no one seems to be complaining. It is a testament to the variety of Philly nightlife that while it’s not hard to find a $10 cocktail in Center City, neither is it difficult to parley that sum into enough drink to render the average bar patron fit to be flagged. So next time the prospect of a $12 martini has you feeling down, celebrate diversity by getting howling drunk at the Tritone.

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Nightlife , Restaurants • Southwark West

Mew Gallery

Okay, so you know how kittens mew, cats me(o)w, and lions just ROAR? That corresponds pretty well with what Mew Gallery is now and what it might be in the future. Located next to my favorite BYO in the Italian Market area, Mew Gallery is an adorable, new local arts and crafts consignment boutique stocked with cool hand-screened tees, pretty hand-printed photographs, and lovely hand-made jewelry (if you’re not getting it—Mew Gallery is a fan of the personal touch), but overall it seems a bit lacking in diversity or inspiration. It is cute and harmless as a kitten. However, the enthusiastic owners seem committed to supporting the crafting community and are actively calling for artists and crafters to join in the Mew crew. Mew Gallery glows with potential, and it may ROAR soon. Go by and pet it now, and maybe in a few months Mew will have grown enough to bite your fingers off, um, in a good way.

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Art Galleries • Southwark West