New York

Lou Dobbs won’t shut his pie hole about the spiraling horrors of outsourcing American jobs. I bet that somewhere on his cheap suit there is a stamp that reads “Made In The USA.” But can he claim that he only eats cheese made right here in the US and A? Judging from his inane newscasts, he’s dreamin’ about gorgonzola cheese when it’s clearly brie time baby. However, if he’s not a flaming hypocrite, he’d refuse to put any cheese on his plate that isn’t American-made. So I wonder if he’s ever ventured into the Essex Street Market. If he did, he’d find Anne Saxelby selling 45 varieties of American cheese at a tiny stand. And she’s not slinging any mass-produced blocks of American cheese from Wisconsin. Anne, trained at Murray’s as well as first-rate farmstead dairies, sells only the finest American artisinal stuff. She focuses on handmade cheeses from Vermont, New York, Connecticut, and Virginia, and you can taste the craftsmanship in every happily doled-out sample. Still, Lou Dobbs would find some reason to be enraged. He’d probably take issue with Anne for sneaking some Italian parmesan into her case. So Lou, step into my office . . . ‘cause you’re fucking fired.

Photo:  David Freedenberg